We all have our very own ways of coping with the loss of a child,parents, siblings and partners. Mine is painting wooden circular pieces of wood, and cleaning around my home. Listening to music I don’t normally listen too and finding I like it. I would like to no if people on here have any special advice which might help someone on here. Love and blessings to you all.
I listen to talking books and music. I also have adult colouring in books. I get out in the garden whenever I can and generally find jobs around the house. I also go to 2 exercise classes a week.
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Hi @David13 . I found that that I had to wait until I was ready to be really positive, it will be different for each of us. But when my time was right, I decided how I wanted the rest of my life to be, and started to move towards it. I wrote it down. It included important things, like do I want another wife, where do I want to live, what new areas of interest do I want to explore. Bit by bit, my new life developed, and I’m very happy with it. I never forget my wife, she’s always with me, the happy memories are intertwined with my new life, I very often chat away with her. I think she would be proud of me. If fate had reversed what happened, I would be extremely proud of her.
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Because you mentioned music, I got more interest in it, joined a choir, bought a flute and booked lessons. I’m often tooting away in the house now 
, playing songs which mean a lot to us.
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Hi everyone 
I hope you’re keeping cool 
.
I found grief moves in fazes, & the emotions come in waves, I personally found the second year hit me harder than the first. I found it helpful to keep a diary, partly to get my thoughts & feelings in order, partly with the thought that I could look back at this time & see how far I’ve come. I’ve also found it helpful to colour code my thoughts be how I feel, I call it the “Inside out technique,” (like the Disney movie,)
gold = joy, red = anger, blue = sadness, purple = fear, & green = disgust.
When I need a healthy distraction, I read, I keep my “To read” pile by my bed, this is all the books I’ve bought that I haven’t read yet, the current pile is 190 books 
, to be honest, it’s actually become more of an obsession.
To help me keep calm, especially when I’m stressed, I do Tai Chi. I have an amazing teacher, with a great sense of humour, he makes up funny phrases to help us learn the moves, like “pat the dog & throw the frisbee”, " throw the pie in the face," etc…
I also find taking walks therapeutic, sometimes it gives me the space I need to breathe, & think, or sometimes switch off from it all.
There are a number of times since mom passed, things have happened, & my mood has been totally through the floor, I guess we all have moments like that, I’ve learned to list the things that make me laugh/smile, even funny memories, or things I’m grateful for. If I’m highly distressed, I play the alphabet game (choose a category, ie- animals, colours, fruit & veg, movies, bands & singers, countries, Boys or girls names, characters in the Muppets, whatever you like, & go through the alphabet naming something of that category,) or I play count the blue things, see how many blue things you can see in the room where you are. The rainbow game is just an extension of this, you find 5 things of each colour of the rainbow, so 5 red things, 5 orange things, 5 yellow, 5 green, 5 blue, 5 pink, 5 purple, & if you want you can extend it to include any colour you want, black, white, gold, silver, aqua, teal, etc. It works as a good distraction for those moments when you feel your thoughts going somewhere you really don’t want them to go.
I hope this is helpful.
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