Hi all,
This is my first post, although I lost my dad last May. I often read your posts and they do help, and some I can relate to.
I was wondering if anyone had advice for me. I’m 37 years old and still live with mom and dad. Dad was ill during lockdown and I found it hard to live with and was overwhelmed. He then passed in May 23. I organised his funeral and went back to work straight after but the entire time I’ve not felt like me. I have had panic attacks which are more like grief attacks really and I just feel like I’m crying inside all the time. I have plenty of people around me but I can’t help but bottle up my emotions because I feel they are so deep, if I started to open up I’d scream and people would think I’m crazy.
I also lost my dog of 15 years in September and my brother and his family have moved in so I have no space for a while! What do you all think. Am I crazy? Are these feelings normal?
Thanks
Laura x
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Your feelings are normal maybe try seeking bereavement counselling through this group it’s ok not to be ok you’ve dealt with so much in your young life when I lost my fiancé last July it felt like my heart Had been ripped to pieces I have good days and bad days for weeks I walked around like a zombie but since joining this group I’ve learned to try and cope best I can it’s never easy losing a loved one especially a parent so my condolences to you and your family but little by little and step by step take your time xx I’m full of guilt because I couldn’t save my fiancé and wasn’t their when he passed but I know he will always be with me in my heart 
remember you are not alone and we are all here for you and thank you for reaching out love and light to you all
Hi Everybabes.
Thanks so much for your reply!
I’m so glad you did as I felt heard. Thank you for reassuring me that you believe these feelings are normal. I have reached out to Cruse for bereavement support so will see what happens. I just keep feeling that I need a massive cry but it never comes. It’s almost as though I’m scared of it.
I am also here for you if you ever want a chat x
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Thank you I have mixed emotions at the moment which is understandable cruse bereavement takes ages to connect through I use to have options in Plymouth I find if I keep myself active I’m ok it’s night times and early mornings when I use to message my fiancé still find it hard to this day he is no longer here I wish I could hold him one more time I feel anger as his family banished me from the funeral over certain things I treated his daughter as one of my own and she no longer speaks to me I get she’s grieving aswell but her mother had a lot to answer for sometimes I wish I never met any of them but I’m so glad Steve came into my life he showed me what true love really was and took me on adventures I’ve never been before as he was a DJ so I find some comfort in listening to his radio shows x
Hi Laura.
I lost my dad in June last year. The emotions you are feeling are completely normal. You’re grieving. It’s different for everyone, but I’ve certainly felt most of these over the last few months. Here to chat if you want 
Crying is the process of grieving I do it every day it feels like my heart will break but I have to console myself as it’s giving me bad headaches
Hi Everybabes!
I’m finding crying hard and it’s as though I bottle my emotions. I’m worried how long the crying will go on for and if people will think I’ve gone crazy.
Feels like I’m crying inside all of the time.
I’m glad you’re able to release your emotions xx
Hi Jayjay
Thanks for your reply and I’m really sorry that you’ve lost your dad.
Comforting to know you’ve felt some of my emotions.
I feel like my mind is everywhere and it’s not good. I think crying would help release some pain but I’m finding it hard. I don’t think I’m used to feeling this sad and I think there’s something wrong with me even though my family reassures me there isn’t.
I hope you’re ok today x
Bless you, sending you a a hug x
It’s the process of grieving if I don’t cry I’ll get angry he’s no longer here they say grief is love with no place to go xx if you don’t cry now it will hit you later people deal differently with their grief hood on to the memories and remember he’ll always be with you and love you eternity x