Coping skill

Hi all,
My partner was the only man who ever loved, cared and wanted me warts and all.
Did anyone else feel this way about their partners love?
How do you accept you’ve lost this love? Do you have coping mechanisms/coping thoughts to help overcome this vulnerability?
Thank you


@AlysonandSteve Hi Alyson,

My husband, Chris, loved and cared for me like no other. He was my greatest friend and supported me in everything I did. In many ways he knew me better than I know myself and accepted me wholeheartedly, the good, the flaws and vulnerabilities all loved in equal measure.

My way of coping without him by my side is not to think that I have lost his love, but remembering that when he died he loved me just as deeply as he always had and that I will carry his love with me forever. His love for me did not die.

Sending you thoughts of peace xx Rachael


@AlysonandSteve like so many on here my husband was my soulmate and best friend as well as my husband. We were married nearly 35 years and you almost become one person if that makes sense. I don’t have any particular strategies for coping with losing him other than keeping busy. I try to have as many things in my diary as possible. Also talking to others who have lost a partner helps a lot. Don’t think I will ever not be sad & lonely without him here. But doing my best to live a life he would be proud of as he was cheated of his. Take care.


Thats is isnt it accepting each other warts and all … love sees past that :). We loved and we were loved be in no doubt of that …its just trying to find our path now that is so tough … ive had a right stressful week …
Some of it been nice but i find this new world we are in so hard to navigate sometimes …xx


It feels like I have been cut in half.
I wear his shoes. I trick myself into thinking I am walking in his footprint.
They are white trainers.
He didn’t wear them much before he was unable with bad diabetic feet.
But they are comfortable. He used to let me after at first he didnt. We were the sane size. Unfortunately my waist has thickened.
But I dont think this tip would work for anyone else.
Yes I still have my memories. I still well up most days. Guess just get used to it.
I haven’t got loads energy. Find lots exhausting.
I do things and slowly figure out how to do what he did or not.
Other people’s are a comfort.


Oops missed out dogs

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I felt those words as though they were my own :ribbon:
I am a very difficult person to love. That is not me feeling inadequate or attention seeking. I know who & what I am. I am intelligent, authentic and fiercely devoted to those I love. But the problem is. I am inherently selfish & struggle with an array of mental health/addiction issues. In a nut shell I am stubborn & manic.
Every relationship before my M was toxic. Fuelled with violence, infidelity and pain. This was not at all my experience with M. Not only did he adore me. & he did :heart: he loved my children & my dysfunctional family. He never once in 5 whole years even called me one single name. He didn’t get mad. He ran away.
I know I will never find another live like him. He was & always will be the love of my life. So my first obstacle was to accept that. By this I mean, be thankful that you had, albeit premature. A love that many go a life time without ever experiencing!! How lucky are we?
When I am in pain. I remind myself that this pain is the price of my love. So . . . If given the option. I would pay this price in pain ten fold for eternity. Rather than had not ever experienced it. Loved him. At all :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
From this I am now starting to evaluate what it is I want from a man. I have no desire to spend my life looking for something so special. Lightning never strikes twice. Instead I am collaborating in what context I will establish a connection with a man. These are my own parameters. My own needs & wants. Finding love, someone to love me as he did, is impossible. But I am a better woman for his love. So I plan to try nurture those parts of me he loved. Build on the confidence he gave me. And just be grateful for the time we had instead of focusing on the time lost.
I do know one thing. I am not sure if this is productive. But my heart will never be broken again as it was with his passing. Not only did he take a piece of me with him when he passed. But what remains is so broken and guarded. It will never be given away to anyone again in my lifetime.
Finally. I am assuming you hold you late partner with the highest esteem. He was a good man?? If so then remember, he chose you. Those warts you speak of maybe are irrelevant and small :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Oh but you haven’t lost his love. You go on with his love, because of his love and that love continues to grow.
It’s that very love which helps us move forward. Keep it in your heart always. :heart:


I hope so … i hope youre right …i know i still feel his love around me but im really sad today because it wouldve been his birthday and its so very sad hes not here … :frowning:


Gosh what insightful posts. Today I missed the bus. As usual got confused with the bereavement bla or fog. Sat on the seat and a kind lady got out of her car to post a letter looked at me and suppose was obvious how I looked. She started to share why she looked as sad as I did. She came from a funeral wearing her dark clothes but no one there she knew nor did she have a chance to share her grief for someone who had died she once knew who had shone a light into her life. Wow. How does that happen on my own on holiday?
I shared my problem so she solved it. Said she would go out if her way to help me by driving me to the coast a mile up the road. I offered her taxi fare she declined.
Said it helped.
I recall years ago someone helped me and told me to help someone else as payment
Why do I say this?
Well we are not alone in our losses
Reality is all around us.
You know what I felt I had met an angel.
Not in what you would imagine
No looking as I did eg the opposite
So how do we move on?
When my baby was stilborn 43years ago I learnt a truth. Instead of saying why did it happen to me I suddenly thought why should it happen to someone else?
That isn’t much comfort I know when you feel awful. Correct it isn’t much but it is nevertheless
helpful in that it happens to everyone sometime. I want to give hugs to us all.


That’s a good story @Enorac . Perhaps you did meet an angel! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: