Coping strategies.

Following on from the long running Moments of Happiness thread on this forum I wondered what small things people do to get them through the day and bring them pleasure. A few of mine are:

I woke up this morning and felt if I didn’t have a squirt of my favourite perfume I wouldn’t be able to get up and out of bed.

If I don’t have a cup of proper coffee made in a cafetière with my breakfast I am hopeless and can’t get going.

I eat many more sweets than I used to as the act of unwrapping and starting to suck/chew them takes my mind off whatever has upset me.

If this has been done before sorry, I couldn’t find a thread on it.

Hi Mel,

Thank you for starting this thread, it’s such a good idea. I’m interested to hear what other community members’ coping strategies are and I’m sure it will provide some inspiration.

I’m the same as you with a morning coffee - preferably steaming hot and drunk outside in the morning chill.

Take care,

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The first cup of tea in the morning, in complete peace & quiet with my 2 dogs curled up on the sofa asleep right next to me…

Good morning, Mel. I hope that this little story may bring a smile to you and everyone else in this sad place we find ourselves. Off the High Street in the market town where I live is a little sanctuary called the Physic Gardens. Bill and I often used to sit there to listen to the birds, and relax. Yesterday I went there, found a seat and sat for awhile with my memories.
A young Mum came in with her toddler daughter who was walking. The little girl, who was no more than three years old, went over to a patch of wild grass and, with a lot of effort, managed to break off a long stem. She then came past where I was sitting and, without a word, offered it to me before toddling off to catch up with her Mum. It’s a good job I was wearing dark glasses. I took the stem home and am keeping it.

A friend, who is into all things spiritual, said that it was Bill sending me his love, via this little girl. I would so like to believe that.

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of his death and I have no idea how I will cope but this tiny gesture from a little child I don’t know, filled me with hope.

Warm wishes to everyone

Eileen xx

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Hello Threadies
Thank you Mel for this…hope the coffee is good this morning! Like Trudy I start each day with the first of many cups of tea shared with my little dogs…they also get a treat and this has now become our routine! Just as Sheila greets her Peter so I say “Morning Basil” to one of Barry’s many photographs. Then I spend some time looking out at the birds in my garden… I am blessed with so many but if my little robin comes into view then I always feel that I can manage the hours ahead!
Eileen, how beautiful was that little girl…and now you have proof that love has so many forms and can still be present in our lives if we let it in…I share your anniversary as it is two years for me this weekend so let’s hold hands across the ether and know that neither of us is completely alone!
Take care everyone…thank you for your support and for sharing my journey x

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I will be thinking about you, Amelia’s Gran, over the weekend. I just cannot believe it is a year since I held Bill’s hand and watched him die. The most terrible year of my life, but that little girl gave me some hope.

With love. Eileen xx

Thank you, Sheila.
Eileen xx

Thinking of you tomorrow Eileen and wishing you strength.

Ann x

Thank you, Ann. I am going to need lots of it. Eileen xx

Hello Eileen. I hope you cope as well as possible for the anniversary. My first was last year, a day after my birthday. Do you know it may be just a little less painful than you anticipate as I can imagine in the run up to the actual day, every day has been the anniversary day and brought with them an awful dreading and pressure and can be worse than the date itself. It’s just a thought and everyone is different. Touching story about the flower girl, what a lovely bit of comfort.

Thank you, Tina. My son is taking me to the crematorium and then back to his house to stay the night, so I should be alright. I just cannot believe it is a whole year since Bill died. Eileen xx

Hi Eileen and Amelie’sgran

I will be thinking of you both the next few days. Anniversaries are awful. I dreaded Mum’s first last year and got through it by taking the day in very small chunks. Each hour that passed I told myself that was another bit gone and the day would soon be over. And it was and the anticipation was worse than the actual day. Not sure how I will find this one which is coming up next month.

What a lovely little girl, I would love someone to do that for me. When I went to my Godmother’s funeral last year I was wearing a scarf with gold ginkgo leaves on it and was sent a pressed one afterwards. Thinking of taking it to my Mum and leaving it for her.


Hi am alan lost my partner jayne on november 7th and would of been her birthday on 14th of june and i have no real coping stratergies really i get up go through the day best as i can but i just become full time carer to my disabled adult son who has autism and learning problems so he helped me get through this difficult time.

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