You too yes we need to be kind to our selves x
Hello Tash, I lost my wife of 44 years in June 2019, we were as much in love then as when we married, she passed of heart failure and COPD even though she stopped smoking 26 years before. In her last 12 months she began with vascular dementia. I saw a bereavement Councillor for 8 months at the hospice where my wife passed.
The Councillor told me that when someone dies who has dementia the partner loses them twice, once to the that awful disease and the second time when they die. The Councillor was spot on.
I already suffered from PTSD from an indecent when I was a prison officer. I have undergone a treatment called Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. EMDR, your GP may be able to help. I have an app on my mobile phone which is free of charge called ‘EMDR Trisense’ you can used two phones for eye movement or earpieces for audible stimulation.
It’s designed to (in lay-mans terms) interrupt the two halves of the brain’s signals, it’s perfectly harmless, just follow the instructions. It helps me a lot.
Best wishes Brent.
I too am part wiccan because wiccan celebrates nature amoung other things but I guess I am more a magpie when it comes to religion. I too don’t believe in death as I have empathic synesthesia and felt my dads soul leave his body and go on. However it is switched off or extra sensitive just now because of my own feelings. Take care.
So glad you got some counselling sounds like it helped. Totally understand about losing people twice over it happened with a couple of my aunts. And it scares me that I may go that way too. Losing our minds is a very difficult situation for the person involved and for their loved ones.
I read this short poem today:
“They will call her strong
but she did not come
here to be strong, there
are means to strength
that are not heartbreak.”
- [Rachel Wiley]
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This is so very true. So many people have said this to me about getting stronger and sometimes the bad stuff leaves us weaker. We gain strength from the supportive people we have around us. We gain strength from the ability to pick ourselves up again but sometimes when times are hard and then are hard again it becomes so very hard to pick ourselves up. Bad events can weaken and scar us for a long time. I totally agree that it is love that gives us strength and also exercise if your body is physically fit then your mind is stronger too. I know when my physical illness plays up then emotionally I am also weaker to deal with the hardships which life throws at us. However sometimes the way you do gain strength from something bad is when its over and the next bad thing happens you tell yourself I can get through this because I got through that.
You said a lot of wise things which I can definately relate to and were very interesting I dont know what article you are referencing but I will look into it. Take care of yourself, I am sorry for your loss and hope you are looking after yourself and have some support.
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I cannot find the article sorry. Thanks for your words. Going through a lot just now everything helps x
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