Hi. I lost my dad on the 29th December 2024 to agressive cancer. We only found out he had it in may, and by june he was terminal.
Part of me still feels like I’m processing his diagnosis, and now hes gone, I’ve not even begun to process that. I’m AuDhd, diagnosed in 2020 at 23 years old.
When I was 14, I lost my dads mum, and I reacted more than this. I’ve cried once for dad. With nan, I became so depressed. I’ve been dreading turning like that again, and although I’m glad its not repeated, I feel absolutely nothing. I was a mess when I found out dad was terminal, and then I was fine a week later. I just feel like a zombie…
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Hello @Mcr_roxmysox,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I just want to reassure you that feeling numb like you describe is really normal. There is no one way to grieve and lots of different things can affect how we are feeling. You might find it helpful to read our, “Am I normal?” support page.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
You might also find it helpful to read this guide from Autism UK on grief and autism.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Hi. Sorry for your loss. I lost my aunty yesterday 7th Jan 2025 in a very similar way. I have also been diagnosed with adhd in 2018. My aunty only went into hospital with gallstones in around October last year. She had an operation to remove something. She then developed sepsis and was given blood transfusions. She was then diagnosed with cancer in the liver, gallbladder and brain. She was moved to a hospice but me and my parents were asking to go and visit her. Didn’t get any answer from family so we didn’t get to say goodbye. I learnt that she had passed from a text from my dad. I also lost another aunty in April last year. It was down to hospital neglect. She was elderly but still shouldn’t have been left to suffer. Waiting for the inquest soon. I just don’t know how to process it. How am i supposed to feel?
I lost my granddad to bowel cancer in 2004 and he was in the same hospice as my aunty. My grandma died 4 days after him and that was very difficult to deal with because I only grew up with 1 set of grandparents.