I am at a loss as to how to cope with the loss of someone I loved so much it really hurts .My wife died on April the 15 th and was cremated on the 23rd of May.However since the cremation I have missed her more each day . How can a person get rid of this feeling of despair .I don’t know what to do .Please if there is anybody out there who has an answer write a message outlining the answers. Dave10
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Sorry for your loss @Dave10. It’s very early days for you and everything will be so raw. I lost my husband at the end of December and I’m still in a state of disbelief. I was told to just give in to what you are feeling. treasure the memories you have of your wife. Do what feels right for you. I’m sorry if that not the answer you need but you just need to take each day as it comes.
Hi @Dave10
My partner also passed on the 15th April. It truly is the worse pain imaginable. There’s no quick fix. The grief is the love that you had and it now has no were to go. I’ve found that it really does come in waves like some days I’m ok and others I can’t see a future or stop crying.
I find it helps to get up, showered and do something. The anxiety is bad but once you get going it soon passes.
Feel what you feel, there is no wrong or right way to grieve. Cry, shout and be angry. Let everything out. I write to my Andrew sometimes or text him to let him know how I’m feeling.
Try and be kind to yourself and let others help you if you have support around you.
I do believe we won’t feel like this forever, each day that goes by is part of the process and will give us strength to carry on.
Sending hugs 
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…there is no answer mate…welcome to this club that no body wants to be in…very early days for you so do whatever feels right…and use this forum…it’s been my greatest support…you are almongt friends here 
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I’m so sorry for your loss and pain and we all completely understand how you are feeling.
I wish there was an answer and a way to avoid the awful place we are in after the loss of our loved one but the only way forward is to feel the pain, and ride the storm.
It is a complete rollercoaster and those bad days are so painful it seems impossible that there might be a way to get through it.
And the despair….
Keep posting and reading on here - it really does help to know you are not alone, and it’s a good place to be honest and open without ever being judged.
Make sure you look after yourself in these early days - and just take things one hour at a time.
Sending strength xx
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So sorry for your loss @Dave10
I’m 13 weeks into this horrendous grief journey now. I won’t say the pain or heartbreak are going, but I am learning to cope. Most of the time.
This journey is like being on a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs .
Its very early days for you yet so just take one day at a time. Try to go out every day, even just a walk to your local shop.
If you have friends and family look to them for support
Sending hugs x
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Hello everyone.
I knew my wife dying was on the cards as she suffered with dementia for 4 years and her life expectancy was shortened considerably. She died last September in the care home.
I always thought we’d have longer and her massive stroke that morning was overwhelming and I’m still getting over the shock. We were together for 33 years.
It does get better but takes time and I find any less sadness is destroyed by sudden longing for her to be back walking in the door saying hello.
I don’t think it’s ever going to go away just less raw. But I think I’ll always be surprised by sudden grief no matter how many years go by. She was my one and only.
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Longing that is such an appropriate word. Longing to see him, longing to hold his hand., longing to kiss him, longing to feel his arms around me, longing to hear his deep reassuring voice, longing to see his beautiful face, longing to smell his scent, longing to look into his eyes, longing to see his smile. Longing longing longing for him to be back in my life. x
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Penny6…beautiful words
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I had a half decent day today with a friend of mine who kept me company during a long drive.
But always happens around this time ( 7 pm) that it’s quiet and I long for her company and I can’t even go to the care home for a visit.
I repeat describing all these feelings and I can’t let go. The loss of my wife sits in the background all the time - has it really been nearly a year since she died - it all seems so unreal somehow.
I was walking to the shops yesterday and there was this strong feeling that she was behind me and going to tap me on the shoulder. I feel her presence in the house and can strongly imagine when I stare hard enough her sitting on the sofa watching tv.
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