Hi, my name is Charlotte. I lost my fiancée 4 months ago, she was 31 and passed suddenly in her sleep. She wasn’t ill or anything beforehand which makes it harder for me to try and process.
It’s our first engagement anniversary at the end of the month and I am absolutely dreading it, the fact we didn’t even get to spend a full year being engaged breaks my heart. She’s the love of my life, I don’t even know where to begin with life without her beside me. Everything is so daunting now.
It’s her birthday the day after our anniversary too.
Any advice on how to approach these kind of things when it’s all so overwhelming?
I don’t know if I should try and distract myself completely from it or if I should celebrate or treat it like any other normal day.
I wish there was some kind of instructions manual on “the right way to grieve”… even though I know there isn’t a right way.
I feel as if after 4 months I should be better at coping with it but somehow I’m getting worse.
People can warn you about grief but it doesn’t really sink in until you experience it. It’s like the worst and most terrifying rollercoaster on the planet but you’re never allowed to get off even if it feels like it might kill you.
My heart is aching unbearably all the time. I wish I was stronger but I’m not, I’m completely broken.