Coping with bereavement

Losing a child
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I lost my child in September of last year and it’s been quite tough for me. I’ve dealt with a lot of grief in my life but this feels different. Are there any tips or coping mechanisms that anyone uses? Sorry if that question is intrusive

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Hello @Cody,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your child that brings you here.

You say it’s been a tough time for you and this feels different. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Hi I’m sorry for your loss
I think it’s just about keeping it real and taking it day by day sometimes hour by hour. It’s been a year since I lost my daughter and it’s easier as I can function now. But there are days when all I am is sad and down.

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I lost my eldest son in November. It’s just gone 6 months now.
I write down what I’m thinking / feeling sometimes, less now than at the start.
I have ok days and days when I’m very tearful. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same as I was before.
Just one day at a time …

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I hope it’s ok to ask but what has helped you to deal with the grief. My son died 10 weeks ago and I honestly have no idea what to do. I feel like I am drowning . I can’t imagine life without him. We still have no cause and the coroner still have his heart and brain that I want back with the rest of him. Xx

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I had to wait 16 weeks for a cause.
If I’m honest I don’t really know what’s helping me get through, it must be a mixture of things. I still have days where I don’t want to get out of bed but I make myself do it. Around the 3 month time I forced myself to go for a daily walk, rain or shine. Just to get out of the house really, I would say to clear my thoughts but nothing does that.
I’ve shared my feelings on here. I’ve written things down. I was the one who dealt with all of Ben’s possessions and his paperwork, ( my choice) , I felt I had to. I also did all the things to do with the funeral arrangements and more recently his ashes. I don’t know if all of this gave me other things to think about …
I’m now in the process of a complaint to the local hospital as Ben had kidney issues the past 2 years but no one got to the cause. His death was ischaemic heart disease, which can be directly linked to kidney issues, so I requested all his medical records and read them. There is now an investigation going on and I’m waiting for the conclusion.
Now his ashes are in the town cemetery I go there and talk to him whenever I want.
I’ve got some brilliant friends who check in on me and know when to leave me alone and when to give me a hug.
I am married, although he isn’t Ben’s dad he was part of his life for 35 years, and I have 3 other sons, so I’ve had support but also tried to support them.
Don’t get me wrong, some days I’m a mess, some days I’m ok. I still have days when it doesn’t seem real but the shock and numbness has worn off. There will never be a day when I don’t think of him and I will never be the same person I was before.
The whole family has changed.
Perhaps I am beginning to accept what has happened, I’m not sure.
What I know is that no 2 days are the same, the most awful thing has happened to us and there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. It’s shocking, unbelievable and so painful but we are still here. Life is short, we know this only too well now, and I cannot waste what time I have left.
I hope you begin to find things a little easier, but give it time and remember that we are all different.