Jules. Please take care with the wine. It will only dull the pain for a short while. I know you had a bad day but drink isn’t the answer. I’m still grieving and can cry at the least little thing but I will get through just as you will. It might seem as though I am condescending but if you are feeling that low you might benefit from bereavement counseling, if you haven’t already done so. I haven’t done that yet as I feel that I am coping but if it gets too much I wouldn’t hesitate. Please look after yourself
Sending love and hugs
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Hi Jules
Please dump the wine. Alcohol is a depressant and will only make things worse for you. There are more natural and sensible ways to help yourself. Please take care.
Crying isn’t so bad. It’s a release valve, so don’t be afraid of it.
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Hi
I have gone to the bungalow that we brought together but never got to live in it together. We had made so many plans for our future. When I go there I feel at ease for some reason.
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Hello Jules
How sad that you never had the chance to live in the bungalow together.
Perhaps the reason you feel at ease at the bungalow is meant to be.
I have always believed that a building can give out vibes. When I bought a property I liked to sit alone for a while and I found the house would ‘tell’ me if I was meant to be there.
Please take care of yourself and do forget the wine for the moment.
xxx
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Take your feeling of ease in the bungalow and build on that.
Some may say it’s a sign?
If in your head & heart he in never far away.
G. X
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Hi everybody,
My wife of 44 years died in 2020. I now live on my own and every day is agony for me. I’ve had two bouts of grief counselling but I have concluded that while it helps a little in the short term it doesn’t seem to last. What I find helps is to be busy with things like: exercising (walking or gentle jogging, for at least 20 minutes a day); eating healthily; staying off alcohol; talking to people - particularly relatives; getting good sleep (of course, I can’t always choose that, but the exercise certainly helps); and practising mindfulness. I have also researched ‘near death experiences’ which I have found very comforting, and I do a little art because it focuses my mind and helps to prevent wandering thoughts. I have notices that my sadness is not constant. It comes and goes, and keeping busy is like riding a bike: The less busy I am the more the emotional bike wobbles.
Please don’t think I have all the answers. I have just had a good cry!
Jonathan
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The crying is the hard part when your alone, crying alone is a really lonely place, my heart really dose go out to you, I really hope you have family around you, even if you don’t talk about things with them or even don’t say a word at least you are not sitting all alone, try and have people around you
I saw this on another Facebook post recently and think it’s very true. Although I’m heartbroken and talking about my wife makes me cry, it keeps her alive and with me at all times.
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Hi Jonathan
We could be two peas in a pod as I do exactly the same as you are doing. Always a keen walker I have found it invaluable in helping me and I walk everyday as my dogs take me out for walks. If my day is proving to be a bad one I’m off on my rambles. Yes, I eat healthily and never liked alcohol. On my walks I always find someone that likes a chat. I also have our allotments and add Yoga/pilates and gym exercises to the list and agree if I can keep my mind and body occupied I am able to sleep or relax much better. I have recommended walking, or gardening many times as they are wonderful therapy and I also tried counselling but it didn’t seem to work long term for me either.
Your right we don’t know all the answers but we can only say what has helped us.
Thankyou for your post it might just help some members.
xx
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