Coping With Grief

I’m still trying to cope with the sad loss of my partner, and wanted to share this with you all.

Tell yourself that grief is normal.
Grief is very, very painful. However, working through this pain is necessary in order to heal and move on from a great loss. Try to resist the urge to shut down, go numb, or pretend like your loved one has not died. Do not deny that something bad has happened to you and that you are hurting. Grieving is healthy: it is not a sign of weakness.

Expect to feel anger.
After the reality of the death sets in, you might feel angry. You might direct your anger at anything: at yourself, at your family, at your friends, at people who have not experienced a loss, at the doctors, or even at your loved one who is gone. Do not feel guilty about this anger. It is normal and healthy.

Allow yourself to experience your feelings.
Losing someone you love is an emotionally devastating experience. In the aftermath of loss, you may find yourself grappling with a variety of feelings. It’s very important that you allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, even if it’s bad. Suppressing your feelings is not a good idea in the aftermath of loss.

Express your feelings to others.
Talking to others is very important following the loss of a loved one. Your friends and family members may not be able to provide you with direct advice, but simply having someone to listen can be cathartic. Sometimes stating your feelings out loud can help you work through them. After a loss, seek out understanding friends and family members. Express your feelings to them and seek comfort and support.

Learn to accept the death of your loved one.
This is is usually the last step in the grieving process, and it means that you have learned how to live without your loved one. While you will always feel the loss, you will be able to establish a “new normal” without your loved one in the picture. Sometimes people feel guilty about being able to re-establish a normal life after the death of a loved one and believe that moving on is somehow a betrayal. However, remember that your loved one wouldn’t want you to be depressed forever. It is important that you live your life in a way that will honour the memories and gifts that your loved one gave to you before he/she died.