This is my first time posting. I lost my Tom two years ago in May. I am waiting for the sadness to subside the heart ache to lighten. I miss him so terribly……we were together 47 years! I feel like part of me died with him. People don’t understand. They think you adjust to your new situation. Well, I am not adjusting. I hurt so bad on the inside. My broken heart weighs 1000 pounds. I don’t know how to do this widow thing. I don’t want to do it. I just want my life back!
Thanks for letting me vent.
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This is exactly how I feel. I think after a year friends think I should be feeling better now. I don’t think I will ever feel over it
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I don’t think I want to get over Tom. He’s my soulmate my other half. I want it to be less painful less lonely. When people are complaining about stupid stuff I’m screaming at them inside my head, “Do want a real life problem??? My husband died, I’ll never touch him again. I’ll never kiss his lips. I will never lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart beating!”
I’m turning into this crazy old widow! I hate that word, widow. I never aspired to be one!!!
My doctor calls this complicated grief. I call it pure hell. Punishment for whatever sins I must have committed.
I believe that happiness is an inside job that we are each responsible for our own happiness. I’m just not sure there’s anything left inside me to work with!!! I need my Honey to come home and put our lives back together!!!
Sorry for my rant
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I hear you. Complicated grief here too 57 years married. Going on 3rd year. Too depressed to leave the house most days. Exhausted.
Don’t know if talking about it helps or hurts anymore. It’s no longer just about him, it’s about everything in life that’s so difficult. 77 years old.
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That’s exactly how I am after over two years without my husband of 54 years. i also moved from our home after 1 year without him to be nearer to my two sons and their families but nit has only made things worse as i miss where i lived with my husband so badly and my sons have their own busy lives and although they wanted me to be near to them it was solely for their own convenience as they didn’t have to drive the 8 or 9 miles to see me. They are both good sons but my heart is just totally broken and i can’t seem to have any motivation to do anything. So yes i am the same and I send you my sympathy.