I have just joined this service because I lost my husband in March and I am having great difficulty coming to terms with the loss , I have a public face of “ I’m doing ok” but as soon as I get home I feel so, so sad and miss him dreadfully , we were together for 55yrs and did everything together , we travelled , walked a lot , but sadly over the last 6yrs following several operations he became very frail , which was so sad after our active life so I suppose I knew he was getting frailer and sicker , his death has hit me very hard , although my family and friends have been wonderful and I keep myself busy it’s always going home alone and I feel thoroughly miserable .
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Hi. OAP. It is a sad time for all of us. March is not that long ago, so try and give yourself more time. My wife died last November and although the pain is still there it does moderate a bit. A bit is enough for the moment.
I was married longer than you and know your pain. But it makes no difference if it’s one years relationship or fifty years, grief is still grief and just as painful.
I have found that to recognise the process of grief as a natural one can make a difference. We grieve because of memories and the emptiness of life at this moment.
To tell you it does change may not help yet. We can only speak from personal experience and mine is that chinks of light in the distance do get brighter as time passes. Not everyone feels this I know. What you are going through is very personal and you will find your own way of coping. There is no set time limit neither is there any set way to grieve.
Never regard what you want to do as odd or strange. It’s what YOU want not what anyone else wants.
Take care and I send you my prayers and Blessings.
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Thankyou for your kind reply , I am trying to cope and will look forward to chinks of light , in the future . I am going to visit family in Australia in Nov and although it’ll be sad because we have always gone together , I am hoping the sunshine and family will help me to come to terms some way . Thankyou for your prayers and blessing and all the best and hoping your first anniversary is not to difficult .
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Dear OAP
There was once a woman who had lost her husband and was grief stricken. For many months this grief continued until one day whilst looking up at the sky she suddenly realised something. She hadn’t lost him at all. He was living inside her heart: inside her very being. He was still walking by her side every step of the way as he had always done. From that moment on this lady started to feel peace.
Love and Light.
Geoff.
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Thankyou Geoff for kind reply , yes my husband is very much inside my heart and my being , I think about him every day , I hope it will get easier with time , I think you just have to try keep yourself busy and attempt to get on with life alone. Thankyou once again for your kind thought and encouragement.
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