How are you dealing with losing your partner?
I was married for 37 years and my wife died at home with just my daughter and myself by her side, the worst ordeal of our lives.
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I manage by taking every day one hour at a time. Can’t think too far into the future as it crumbles me. The thought of my future without my husband strikes fear and panic in me.
I look at photos of my husband when he was young and keep those images in my head rather than the one of finding him dead on our bedroom floor. It helps.
Since I had to find papers, etc., it has been a few weeks of sorting and organizing the mountains and turning them into mole hills.
I have been giving his things away to friends and family. We have no children and none of what has been given away will be used by either of us ever again. Although I am only 5 weeks in, this process is a must for me as I refuse to leave it all for someone else to sort and remove. I am 70, time is of the essence here.
Have your daughter take the things of her mother’s that she wants. Ask her to help you remove the clothing, the hobby supplies, etc.
I am also purging the house of excess and there is plenty of that. It seems my husband’s death made it all real that we never know the time or the day. I will not burden others with the clear out when I am gone. So, minimalism is where I am headed.
Make a list of 5 things to do each day, check them off when done. It helps to have a visual that you are still in motion. At the end of the week you will have 35 things done and 150 at the end of a month. It doesn’t have to be done all at once, and in a month you will see big results. Well, this is how I do it.
Much love. You will get through this. We all will.
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Thank you PeachesDixon, sorry for your loss
Hi Andrew, sorry for your loss . For me personally the early days were unbearable, the first few days I couldn’t eat or drink, then the days became weeks and then months. If it wasn’t for this forum I’d have given up . So take each day as it comes and just keep going forward. It’s one year today since I lost my wife,I talk to her in my head all the time, I find that has given me peace. So take care of your self Andrew and remember stay on this site , there’s really helpful people on here 
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Thank you Paul, sorry for your loss also
I don’t have any solutions , it is 3 months since my husband was killed in an accident, but your daughter will be a help I am sure. My sons are my reason to continue.
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Thank you, so sorry for your loss
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Hello. I have only just found this community, having suddenly and unexpectedly lost my partner two weeks ago. Thank you all for being there. It is comforting to read how others are coping with their loss.
So hard to come to terms with them not being there any more.
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@Andrew68 Sorry for your loss. I’m very similar to you. Married 35 years and my husband died at home after a battle with cancer. It’s been 20 months for me and to be honest I’m not sure how I got here. The early weeks & month are a blur of despair. It was sink or swim and I made a conscious effort to swim. Do anything that keeps you busy and you enjoy. My diary has never been fuller. It’s still a lonely existence and I’m not saying it’s easy. Hope you find some help to move forward. This forum helped me massively, especially in the early months. Take care.
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Thank you jan17
Sorry for your loss x
So so sorry for your loss. It is traumatising to witness death of your life partner. My husband of 38yrs also died unexpectedly but peacefully, at home with just our two young adult children and myself with him. Diagnosed July 1st with an aggressive cancer which was only going to get worse, 11 wks on and I draw some consolation that his suffering was brief and feel he was spared further pain, decline, humiliation and interventions that would just prolong his agony. Nobody really understands how we feel unless they have lost a partner. Such a different loss to a parent … past, present & future plans, This is a devastating blow to us & we as a family miss him so much every day. But I too keep busy, perhaps too busy - walking, yoga, doing whatever I can to support my two young adult children & also try to meet on a weekly basis with one of a small, but very loyal, group of friends.
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