Help! How on earth do you cope when you feel your loved one’s demise was, at least partly, caused by the hospital’s messups? I know I can complain and maybe I will when I have the strength (though it makes little difference now). But the big question is how to find a way around the anger and the utter unfairness of it all. They failed my dad, he fought bravely but they failed him. How do I live with that? Eternally grateful for any advice, because I’m struggling and completely lost.
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Hello, I have experienced the same, I took it forward to a complaint, I took it as far as I could but I don’t feel I really got to the bottom of it all, I felt they all stood together & closed doors & I was powerless.
In the end I thought when he was alive I did my best, when he was gone I did my best to get answers so any fault was not mine.
I like to think that they knew what they’d done wrong & it was dealt with internally & lessons learned.
At the end of the day we can only control our own actions.
I know my husband would have said “ you’ve tried your best & if mistakes were made it wasn’t done on purpose & humans make mistakes, you have to let it go otherwise the only one suffering is you”
It took me a couple of years to come to terms with it, now I’m just left feeling I don’t ever want to be in hospital, which I need to get over!
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I know how you must be feeling my husband was also badly treated in hospital. I complained but got nowhere. Its left me not trusting any medical people and i hate having to go back through those hospital doors. I think when people get to a certain age they dont give a dam. For ages i blamed myself for taking him there in first place but without seeing into the future there’s no point in beating ourselves up . I might have learnt to except what happened but forgive NEVER.
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Thank you for the advice. I’m sorry you had to go through this too! It feels daunting to know it might take that long. I know that feeling, I don’t want to go near a hospital ever again.
Yeah, I blame myself too. Shouldn’t have let them take him there, should’ve tried to get him out of there. It’s awful that we have to struggle with that on top of the grief. Thanks for replying!
Thank you and I’m sorry to hear you have experienced the same thing!
Hi Ulma,
This site seems helpful, if you’re thinking of going down the medical negligence route: https://www.avma.org.uk/
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