Hello are you alright because you have said help
Are you ok bovabelly? You have said help? Everyone on this site is here to listen and offer support! Please let us know you are ok. Rachel x
Hi Bovabelly,
You have posted a message that just says “help”. Is everything ok? If there is anything I can help with, please let me know by replying to this message, or sending me an email on online.community@sueryder.org. I have also sent you an email in case you don’t see your replies on the site.
If you need to talk to someone, remember that you can speak to someone by phone by calling:
Cruse Bereavement on 0808 808 1677 (available Mon-Fri, 9.30-5)
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Yes thanks was having a panic attack x
Thanks for all your concern was having a panic attack last night this morning ok xx
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My first Mother’s Day without mum ,miss her so much she was my world,I’m going to raise a glass and give her my love as I always did 
I’m glad you are ok now, but very sorry to hear about the panic attack - it sounds as though it was frightening.
Unfortunately, panic attacks can sometimes be part of how grief affects people. They are often very overwhelming, but there are ways of coping that people find helpful - Mind have some useful resources on panic attacks, which could be a good starting point. You could also speak to your GP about this.
I had one too yesterday that’s part of on going aniexty managed to get through it
As long as you are alright now
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Yes this years Mother’s Day going to be a heartbreaking one as lost my Darling Carol on Boxing Day 2017 after 47 years together my two Daughters are inconsolable as they always treated their Mum on Mother’s Day and miss their Mum. It makes it worse when on TV every 5 mins showing adverts and flowers for Mothers Day their Mum always spoilt them and our Grandchildren and now that has been snatched away from them in the blink of an eye. Life can be so cruel and now all I want to do is to join my beautiful Wife Carol in Heaven hopefully the sooner the better because I cannot take much more of this. Bless You All George xx
My dear mum died last August and people are saying that it must be hard facing the first Mother’s Day without her. What they don’t understand is that I have faced it for the past 6 years because vascular dementia stole my beloved mum. I have gone through the motions of giving her a card and flowers only to be met with blank stares and vacant looks.
It has been heartbreaking… and it is almost a relief that is now over … for her and me.
I lost my mum on the 22nd February. She was only 57 and it’s come as a massive shock to us all. I will be honest I have no idea how I am going to cope on Sunday. I am hoping for 4 small people keep me busy and my mind occupied. Pls tell me it gets easier…
Hello, I lost my mum in December. I take one day at a time and, to be honest, I don’t know how I’ve got this far. All I know is 8 weeks ago I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t going to work, I wasn’t really functioning. Somehow I am eating again, in my normal working pattern and getting my children to school and clubs. I’ve still not done any housework, socialised with my friends or got back to all my routines. But I have made small steps towards healing. I’ve even remembered my mum with happy memories rather than that gut wrenching pain. All I can say is do one thing at a time, allow yourself to grieve and don’t put yourself under pressure. Use this site to tell others how you feel. We are all in the same boat. I’ll be thinking of you on mothers dayx
Hi Lucy, did you get to buy the card? I haven’t written mine yet but I will do tomorrow. It’s hard when you’re in the shops and see all the mothers day gifts…A harsh reminder of what we’ve lost. I did pick up a plaque that says “a mother is your first friend, your best friend, you’re forever friend”. I will take this to the cemetry on Sunday and put it with my card. Hope you get through the day and manage to smile at a special memory of your mumxx
Hi, I will be lighting a candle for my mum too. I went to my sons mothers day assembly today, i do not know how i managed to hold back the tears. I’m a bit fed up of bursting into tears in public! Last week i was in Asda on my own and just started crying. The assembly was so touching but so sad. I will also be staying at home on Sunday and will spend time with my boys who really keep me going. I hope your day will be ok …Enjoy that glass of chablis! Your mum will be smiling down on youx
My mum died in 2014 aged 85 and she was my rock! I still cannot believe she has gone . I miss coming back from holidays and relaying all the experiences to her. She used to live looking at the photos. We did so much together. A light went out in me when she died. But, my daughter keeps me going as do my friends and my partner. We gave a lit to be thankful for. I lost my dad 5 years ago but the impact was not as bad.
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I lost my mum on 30 December 2017 so this is my first Mother’s Day without her. March will be a difficult month. Still to come, on consecutive days, are both mum’s birthday and mine. Maybe it’s best though to have these events clustered closely together and contend with them in a short space of time? Christmas, the anniversary of mum’s death and New Year will all be grouped together at the end of the year.
Mum started keeping cards in recent years – birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc – and gave the reason “So you’ll have something to put up when I’m gone”, so that’s what I’ve done, put up one of those old cards next to the vase of daffs and pot of blue hyacinths I bought, two of her favourites.
One thing that makes me smile is that mum loved a bargain and had an increasingly cynical view of the complete commercialisation of events such as this and liked to point out that whether it’s flowers for the likes of Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day or chocolate eggs at Easter, once the event is over shops will sell leftover stock at reduced prices and she loved to take advantage of that! Maybe I’ll visit the shops tomorrow and grab a bargain bouquet…
During the days I spent sat at mum’s bedside in hospital before she passed, I did a lot of online reading about experiences of death, grief and bereavement. The one statement someone made which still sticks in my mind is as follows:-
“Losing your mother is the most grown-up experience you’ll have, but one which will make you feel most like a child.”
This is a poem i wrote for Mum.
we lost her in November.
Memories filled with sadness
Thoughts mixed up with tears,
This Mothers day i’ll send a card
as i have done for years.
The only thing is this time
you wont be there to see
the card i’v picked to thank you
for the love you’ve given me.
I miss you, and i love you
at times i feel alone,
and wish that i could see your face
or call you on the phone.
So this year i will raise a glass
and think of you and say
what ever you are doing Mum,
A happy Mothers Day xxxx
Written by
Nigel Callaway
Norwich
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That is a lovely poem Nigel and kind of you to share it with everyone on here.
I have the tonic chilling ready for my G&T later and toasting Mum. I wish everyone a peaceful day remembering their Mums.
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What beautiful words from your heart. I hope today hasn’t been too hard for you. I’ve got through it but exhausted now! Best wishes, Clare