Hi Clare,
Hope you’re visit to your mum was ok today, sure she will love the plaque. Yes I did buy the card and it says to a special mum from your daughter. Wasn’t too bad buying it actually but writing it had me in floods of tears. I ordered a big canvas with various pictures of mum and a few of us together on yesterday and that will be arriving on Wednesday - had to have it delivered to work but only a few of us in so they won’t mind. Today has been traumatic but sadly not for the reasons you would think. Arguments with my dad. To say I feel devastated that he would pick today of all days to be so horrible is beyond me so I’ve spent most of it in tears to be honest. No wonder my mum left him, I can see it all now. Anyway I’m not going to let him ruin Mum’s day again. So I’ve cracked open one of the bottles of champagne I bought her - that she never had!! And am raising a glass to her and lighting a candle for her and the rest of the world and him can do one!! Not people on this site though - the only supportive people in my life! Hope you got on ok and sounds like the steps you’ve made so far have all been in the right direction, just don’t let anyone sidetrack you!
xx
Sadly Lucy999 it is the closest family members who are the most nasty at these times. My sister was dreadful all through Mum’s illness and has been the same ever since. All you can do is as you say think they can do one.
Hope the Champagne was good. My G&T was wonderful, had a second, one for Mum and one for me!
Hi Lucy, how awful for you to have to endure that on such a sensitive day. I’m pleased you toasted your mum, and hope you remembered her with a smile. I felt totally exhausted by last night. It’s all so emotionally draining isn’t it? The canvas sounds absolutely wonderful. I started making a frame up of all old black and white photos of when my mum was young but haven’t got it finished. This grief thing has made me so disorganised, I start things then get sidetracked then get annoyed with myself for not finishing them! I’m still sorting through my mum’s things, been going through her old calendars since I got in from work. It’s so overwhelming so I just do a bit at a time. Hope you’ve had a good day today, from Clarex
In the week before Mother’s day, I made and unmade many plans including long walks to places my mum loved, commemorative meals, explorations and reminiscences at home.
On Wednesday before, I decided to try and imagine mum was in an empty chair opposite mine so I could talk to her and try to imagine what she would say to me. I had to admit that in the end, I had nothing to say. She said I should forget all those unanswerable questions I kept asking and to be patient.
After all that, I settled for a quiet walk to the crem just after breakfast, then afterwards a long solitary walk for a consoling coffee and finally an afternoon at home sitting quietly on my own. So for me, it was the peace of solitude.