My brother died suddenly in February of last year he was 35. He was fine a few hours before which makes it harder to understand why this happened. Time is a strange thing. On one hand I remember it like yesterday. Being told the terrible news that he had passed and on the other it feels like he has been gone for years. The pain of loosing him never goes away and feels just as raw now as it did on that day. I have awful anxiety at the moment. I used to turn to him when I had struggles in life. Now he is not here it makes me realise the reality and the gaping hole he passing hasleft in my life.
Sorry to read about your distress. Your loss type is different to mine but I can empathise with the suddenness and not having him there to turn to when you are feeling low and needing comfort. I understand what you mean about time - it’s a strange thing and seems to play tricks on your mind. Feeling anxious as well is so disabling I know. If the feelings don’t improve would you be up to seeing a Dr for help. Take care.