I havent been on for quite some time as I thought I was doing OK.
I lost my husband suddenly and totally unexpectedly right at the beginning of Covid - March last year. He had a major heart attack and died right in front of me.
But the last few months have been absolutely awful for me, I miss him so much and think about him all of the time. I have no motivation to do anything whereas last year I was like a mad women getting jobs done, but I’ve done nothing this year.
My family do not live near to me so I only get texts and the odd phone call. The first few months were daily/weekly phone calls and visits, but that has all wore off. I just get … " you know where we are if you need us". I appreciate they all have there own lives to lead but I feel that they have turned their back on me.
I feel as though I am just wishing my life away.
Madge, I think many of use on here know exactly how you are feeling. We go mad getting everything sorted and finishing jobs and then we stop and motivation is non existent. The family thing is again something that is common including myself but it only makes us feel more alone. All I can say is just go with it and do what seems right for you each day but don’t let it become the norm. It’s hard making yourself do things that you don’t feel you want to do but it is necessary. Start by doing something different or visit somewhere that’s totally different. Just go for it! Best of luck, you will feel better. S xxx
I feel I am beginning to see a pattern when reading the posts on this site.
During the early days I was amazed how well I was coping, everyone saying I looked well. Looking back I think I was in shock. Then I was so busy arranging a funeral, sorting out paperwork, probate, running a busy …… hardly!! Packing some of Martins belongings away. Having to sell his car.
But now I feel I am grieving more and struggling because I have the time now to sit and think, I believe that it’s not until we get 6 months down the line or in to our second year that we actually begin to grieve properly…. Because we finally have the time.
The problem is, as we start our proper grieving, friends and family have moved in with their life’s and maybe think we have to as it’s so much further down the line
Dee, yes you are correct. The timings may be a little different for everyone but basically, I personally think it’s what happens and this is why it’s not recommended to do anything big before the second year has past. By then you know you are on your own and have started to think differently, well it was for me. We are different from the person we were when we had our loved one/soulmate and it takes time to re-adjust. We move on slowly. Take care Sxxx