After coming home after another bad scan result,I broke down and cried, telling my wife ashe couldn’t go anywhere because I wouldn’t cope,she smiled and said " I know "… we laughed because we both knew how hopeless I am at practical stuff,bills, appointments, phone calls, everything…she died on the 1st of October and since then I’ve done the bills,the funeral,the practical… but we were right, because that isn’t the coping, that’s easy,… coping is sitting on the sofa without looking across for her, coping is not thinking about telling her what happened at work or what’s on TV, coping is not missing someone every minute of every day…so we were right, I’m not coping… I’ll plod on… but my heart broke on October 1st and plodding along is the best I can hope for… sorry for another one of these… take care…
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Hi Arthurfen, you sound very heartbroken and I can understand why. Those first few weeks/months are the hardest I have ever had in my life. Like you I talk to my husband, I tell him everything and sometimes I feel he tells me what to do. Please keep posting, just writing about it helps sometimes. I kept a log at the beginning and it did help, I didn’t read it but burned it later on, it told how heartbroken I actually was and still are. We are always here for you. Keep safe. S xx
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