Can’t understand it, my wife died 5 1/2 year’s ago I thought I’d coped fairly well. Then Sunday I thought that I’d go to the local church for a Christmas tree lights to remember our loved ones.
Was it because I was sitting alone; I suddenly felt so alone and I just broke down in tears. I’ve obviously had sad time’s but nothing like that. Difficult to understand, Today I’ll have to face local people who were there. I honestly don’t know what to say to them about my reactions.


Dear @Robbie1 you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. Your grief is personal and it will be unpredictable. Christmas is a particularly emotional and often lonely time because the media fills us with scenes of romance and families. I’ve always been one to cry at carol services and this year I will avoid them as I only lost my husband 6 months ago and I know this will be a particularly difficult time for me.
Don’t be hard on yourself & allow the tears to fall


Hi @Robbie1

It’s ok to not be ok…try not to give yourself a hard time, it’s completely understandable.

There is nothing wrong in being honest with people too if they ask. There are kind people out there…but also busy bodies (or drama vampires as some people call them) so I would weigh up how you perceive the person asking and respond by saying as much or as little as you feel most comfortable.

If no one asks you, then it’s your choice whether you feel the need to explain. Your grief is nothing to be ashamed by, you have suffered a big loss…but if & how much you want to divulge is individual choice and you don’t need to say anything if you’d rather not.

Take care x


Hi @Robbie1, being alone is not easy for us, especially at Christmas. Yes, I think it might have been because you were alone. It gets me every time. Just one little thought can set me off, especially when I am alone. - I found this article and thought it might help to understand.

My brother and I just ignored Christmas since our mother died in 2006. And now, I hate Christmas. My brother died in February 2022 of a sudden heart attack, and I wish I could just sleep until the first of January.

Take care, Nick