Coping

Losing a child
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Ive recently lost my baby daughter after going into labour prematurely few months back, she passed away very shortly after birth. I find it hard that she didnt survive considering her little heart beat was so healthy when she was inside of me. No results yet from hospital investigation or post mortem. How do people cope losing loved ones/children/baby? Im back to work after couple of months off, ive now finished bereavement counselling. Just feel numb all the time recently.

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Hello @Angelmummy,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter that brings you here.

You might find these organisations helpful in coping with the grief of losing your daughter.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

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Sending lots of love.
Just take it hour by hour , day by day, I found the brain fog crippling but it does lift. And it’s so normal to feel numb. I felt numb for about a year after my daughter died when she was a young adult. She was 22.
I found it helpful to talk about it to anyone who d listen.
Just know that you will get through it.

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Hello

No words can compensate for the loss of our children, regardless of their age.
You ask how you can cope?
Some days you will, and others days you may feel you are falling apart all over again. I have been told that in time the balance is likely to change. I am still waiting for that!! I think we probably eventually accept, at least in part, that there are some things we just cannot change and, only then, will we perhaps feel that we are “coping”.

Some things will bring happy wanted memories, and others will bring unbelievable sadness, but both are part of your life.
A while ago, someone on here shared some words that I read frequently. Maybe you will be able to find it somewhere on this forum. It was written as a conversation between grief and the person grieving loss. For me, these words have made me feel that the greater the grief, the greater the love we have felt. Although we cannot ignore the grief (nor should we) but if we can accept it as part of the love we had to give, and a normal part of loss, it might help but, there is no medication or instant fix.
Good ongoing support can make a real difference and the feeling that, in some way, you are free to express exactly how you feel either on here or among trusted family and friends.
Take just one day at a time.
Beth

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