My partner of 18 years died last month. I loved him with all my heart and I feel like I’ve lost half of my being but I seem to be coping much better than I thought I would.
I’d had some warning that he wouldn’t live long, although I thought we’d have a few months with palliative care at home he never got to leave the hospital. Within four weeks of taking him to the doctors he was gone.
Initially I was distraught, angry and raging and crying. Now I seem to be doing all the things I need to do, work, adapting to doing the things he used to do like putting bins out, hoovering… But apart from some crying it’s like I’m on auto pilot. I’m waiting for the tsunami of grief to hit me.
It’s been five weeks since he died and two weeks since his funeral.
This probably seems crazy but I’m worried why I seem to be coping so well.
Hello @Flower1947
It’s still very, very early for you. I think many of us have found we go onto autopilot exactly as you say, in the first couple of months. It’s one of the body’s protection mechanisms. Unfortunately it is likely that the tsunami of grief you expect will hit you later when your mind starts to grasp the permanence of the change in your life. Then the tiredness and sadness and concern about the future can at times overwhelm you.
But whatever you are feeling at any point do express it here on the forum as there will always be others who understand and feel similarly at each point and will support you.
I couldn’t agree more, I lost my wife September last year 2023 and I thought I could give it a year and I would gradually heal and move forward but it seems like the opposite has happened
I don’t expect to ever heal or totally stop grieving. I think most of us feel that but we do hope it will ease, become less painful as the years go on.
A year is still a short time considering the years that went before so don’t despair, just keep doing whatever gets you through. It’s different for all of us how we manage. Yet somehow we do!