Coroners hearing

I thought my pain could not get any worse
How wrong I was. Had the Coroners hearing yesterday
It has made things worse
To hear your husband is now a government statistic is heartbreaking
I wanted to shout no he was my husband a dad a grandparent my rock not a government number to be logged.
I feel so down today I have also found I am beginning to go somewhere to meet a friend or relative at a coffee shop and I just get there and want to go home
I am 66 married 47 years and been with him 50
People keep saying life goes on I could live another 20 years without him
No thank you
This is no life but the an existence
Other friends of mine who have been widowed (another horrible word) and they all seem to be getting on with their lifes perhaps I will one day I just don’t think I will ever get over this awful pain
Love to you all

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Your words could be mine , similar age and length of time together,l.
That is just how I feel especially about the years ahead, I just dont want them . Jx

I too had to endure an in depth report on my husband of 34 years death in a road incident. It was outlined to me by the police officer dealing with it, the report itself lies in a filing cabinet, unopened. The one person who helped me cope in the 12 months since died almost a year to the day I lost my man. My 90 year old uncle who lived with us who I was carer to. now it’s as though I am back to square one

I know exactly how you feel
It brings it all back and to me it hurt more then the day he died
I think when he died although expected I was numb and not really accepting it
My husband was expected to live at least enough two weeks after being admitted to hospice
He died the next morning I feel cheated as I thought I had more time with him
I know deep down it was best for him as he was in so much pain
Life does go on but it’s s life I don’t enjoy
I just miss him more every day
Love to you all that are traveling the most difficult journey any of us have to do

That’s just it, Yes, you carry on, but every day is just a day you are alive, breathing in and out…Friends come and make me do things. But every day is just a day to be got through, never knowing when you’ll get hit with an overwhelming flashback.

I didn’t have to go through that but when we lose someone we dearly love every day & almost everything is a trial. I want to leave this world every day. I’ve lost heart in most of the human race. Love disappeared a while ago. As I write this I think of the hours of yet another day stretching out. I wish them away. Nearly every day is spent alone. It’s a strange feeling. I understand when you say you meet a friend but want to go home. I am guessing that the friend doesn’t understand grieving. Meetings like that boil down to us either showing our grief & annoying the person we’re with or us pretending that everything is fine. What we need in our lives are people who are very compassionate, understanding & with an arm that can give us a few hugs of comfort.

I send you & all a comfort hug.

Hi June,
My husband died on 18th July
We too were married for nearly 49 years and together for 50. I just want with him. I go out with family and keep it together. I feel cheated ,he was only 65 I love him more than life .I talk to him all of the time. I miss him so much,
Take care,

Sorry to hear this,I know how you feel it’s been 10 months since my Clive,he went suddenly he was with me one min and 10 minutes later he was gone,he had an accident which he had a blood clot and led to his heart,I am so heart broken,I give this brave face at work but when i get home it’s awful reality sets in also our little dog bear passed away 4 months til the day since my Clive,what have I done wrong

Hello everyone,
Hope you are all coping with all the things every day throws at us.

It’s all the silly little things that catch me out. Today I had to burn some more papers and saw all Paul’s writing and all the effort he’d put into producing reports etc. So I’m in tears again. It doesn’t get any easier. I’ve no one to share my thoughts with or ask to explain things. I’m losing interest in all the things I used to ask about current news or discoveries .

Sorry to still be moaning, it just all overtakes me sometimes,

X Chris

Hi Chris.

Each day is different I find. I couldn’t even explain how I felt today. I find each day an enormous trial.

Is Paul your husband? When did he pass away?


My husband Paul died in January and I try and fill my days so I don’t have to think, it doesn’t really work.

My husband died in February. I know exactly how you feel. The days are an ordeal. It’s the most horrible thing. I feel very lonely.

My husband died in July. Had a nice day yesterday with my family in the caravan which he loved. He’d wanted this particular van for a long time. We bought it last year. He got to spend a few months in it between treatments. I suppose I should be grateful for that but I’m not. It’s not enough,
He was only 65… He wanted to work a little bit longer, but it was taken out of our hands.We both had to give up work when he became ill, I became his carer. We did spend more time together but a lot of that was in the hospital. I still feel anger that he was taken too soon. We had made plans everything was set up for our retirement and I see couples older than us out there still together. It’s so unfair, but all I can keep telling myself is that he’s not suffering anymore and I will see my soulmate again. I just have to keep.going until then.
I know we all feel this unbearable loss,
Take care,

Sandra, I feel for you.
My partner of 47 years died suddenly and unexpectedly in March at 69.
I’m 65 and, after my mother’s death in December 2017, we were at the start of our first year of retirement together. I am devastated at what has happened.
I wish I could say something to help you but I can’t say anything except I know how you feel.
Take care Jx