I have had 4 sessions of counselling now. The counsellor is very good. I lost Mum in October 2025 and it has felt surreal and I have been numb. I buried my uncle in the August. In my sessions I cry and talk freely. For 2 days after my sessions, everything seems raw again and I am thinking of Mum and the tears come. I am guessing that is what is meant to happen, to help me process what I have kept hidden. It was a lot easier feeling numb. It seems that reality is creeping in. Has anyone else experienced this after counselling? Is this what is meant to happen and healthy? Or is it very individual? I would find it helpful as to how others experienced it afterwards and coped. I have mentioned it to my counsellor and she said for me to observe what happens and let whatever happens, happen.
I’m sorry to hear you are finding it difficult to deal with. My wife was very close to her mother and it took her a long time to come to terms with her death. She eventually went to a therapist and found a lot of comfort talking about her feelings with someone else and although it brought back a lot of memories it eventually allowed her to come to an acceptance. Lots of strength
Tom
I have lost many family members in the last 5 years. I have never had counselling before. After my husband died 5 months ago , I felt I need some help. I have just started having counselling 3 sessions so far. The 1st one I was emotionally drained, I am just starting to see the benefit from counselling.
Hi @Sparrow2 - I think at 5 months its not unusual for the initial numbness to wear off a little and the emotions may start to come to the surface - the mind holds it back at first because if we were hit with it all at once we’d never cope with it. The counselling may also be helping to release any blockages and create a safe space where you feel able to explore things that have just felt too raw to touch before. Ive heard it said “the only way through the pain, is through the pain” meaning that eventually we have to face those painful feelings and let them flow through us. Your brain is literally rewiring itself after a loss, so i noticed my brain became much more active after a few sessions of counselling where I was trying to process and make sense of everything. I’d agree with your counsellor to observe what happens and let it happen. Its a really tough thing to do as our natural instinct is to move away from pain. Hopefully your counsellor will give you some coping tools. Movement can be good, to help the emotions flow through the body and not get stuck. It could be walking in nature or even throwing a cushion to the floor with force can help release anger/frustration. And be kind to yourself after any emotional storms - it might be cuddling up with a pet, hugging a pillow, having a hot chocolate, just little things that soothe you after the tears have stopped. Sending you hugs 
Thank you to you all. The counselling and your responses help to make it clearer. As I am in the middle of it, I cannot always see things clearly. You are right as she is trying to help me reach a place of acceptance. Mum and I were very close. Her death was sudden. At the start I told her that it was all surreal and I could not accept my mum’s death. So now I am working through it, although at times it is like I am going backwards as when I was numb it was much easier. I will ask for strategies next week - good idea. I find physical activities like gardening and walking help to de-stress but work commitments leaves me with little time. I am sorry for your loses. You all sound like you are strong and grounded, who enriched the lives of your loved ones.