It will be 10 weeks on Saturday since my neil passed. My doctor has suggested counselling but am not sure if am ready. Has any one else had counselling this early I’ve read it’s normally after 3 months. Am not sure if am upto it yet any advice would be grateful 
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Dear Lisefin
Like everything else you do it when the time is right for you
There is no right time, there is no right thing - people/ friends/ children/ family - they all have ideas and suggestions ………. Maybe you half listen to them ( if you feel like it) and do just what you want when you want
Sending you love
Sadie x
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Thank you Sadie, I really don’t think am ready he just seemed quite insistenti. I think I will just put it off till am ready
Love to you too
Lisa x
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Hi, I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
I’m currently having counselling which I probably started 6 months after Graham died. It’s quite good to talk things thru with someone who doesn’t know you, so I would recommend it. You could stay now and if you find its too soon leave it for a while.
I’d would also recommend “distraction” ie going out with friends & family, swimming, gym or anything that makes you happy, and brings joy into your life.
I wish you happiness xx
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Hi lisefin
I lost my husband 7 and a half weeks ago (it will be 8 weeks on Friday). I have really struggled with his loss, not just because it was a sudden loss (worse 24 hours if my life) but purely because he was my life and we loved one another so much.
After his loss it was the first Christmas almost straight away, I was going through funeral arrangements (which I’d never done before), having to learn who and how to cancel things and inform relavent authorities etc, then Christmas, then finalising the funeral, then the actual funeral and dealing with all those emotions and how final it made everything, then the first new year, then problems with my brother in law and his family, then I’ve just had my husband’s birthday.
It was just all so much, and I started having thoughts that scared me, especially on my really bad low days. So I contacted cruse bereavement and had my assessment session last week, barely 6 weeks after. She was amazing and made me understand and realise what I am feeling and going through is normal, it’s my normal. I’m on the waiting list for my sessions now.
So I guess what I’m trying to say, I’d get the wheels in motion, you will find that counselling won’t happen immediately because of assessments and waiting lists. She put me under no pressure and said when my name comes to the top of the list for my sessions to start that if I felt that I didn’t need the sessions at the time, I could just cancel them with no problem and apply again at a later date.
Personally, it’s one of the things that help me now because on a bad day/s I know I have the sessions coming.
Sending hugs x
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Thank you, yes am trying to keep busy as much as I can . Friends and family have been great but yes maybe talking to a stranger will help.
Happiness and love to you too xx
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Hi Karen Louise, am sorry for your loss. Your journey sounds very similar to mine, Neil died suddenly wasn’t ill or anything. Christmas and New year was just a blare . Neil was my life this is the hardest situation I have had to deal with. I have lost my parents which was bad enough but this is so different the pain is unbearable. I found that no most of the things are now sorted out financially etc my mind is going to places I really don’t want it too go to. Thank you for your advice I think I will get things in motion.
Much love xx
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I’m really pleased you have decided to otherwise you may get desperate then have to wait for weeks for counselling. I understand that counselling doesn’t work for everyone, I’m not even sure how I’ll do but I feel that I owe it to myself to try. Take care and keep boosting on here
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I had to wait for counselling. She was meant to ring today for my sixth session but I never got the phone call. In the end I phoned a psychotherapist and speak to her on a weekly basis. She listens to me and offers constructive advice and help I am so glad I rang as when I feel really dreadful I know I have the phone call to offload and tell her all about my week. X
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Thank you I phoned today and there is a 3 1/2 month waiting list so glad I phoned. I looked I to cruse they are doing it over zoom or phone and I don’t really like talking on the phone but maybe I will look into it. Had a really bad day so maybe I will call them tomorrow. Take care xx
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I was thinking of looking into a private counselling see if that is any quicker xx
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It’s a lot quicker. I got to speak to my counsellor the following day. There is a site but I don’t know if I am allowed to put it on here. The prices range from £35 all the way up to £400. You can read about the see their qualifications and book an appointment x
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Lisefin, very sorry for your sudden loss, pretty similar to my partner who died suddenly last June aged 57. I started Sue Ryder counselling 4 months later, on Zoom. She was so warm and kind, validated all my difficult thoughts and feelings and many of the things she said have stayed with me and are still comforting. In my experience I agree with what others on here have said- when you’re ready, do consider giving it a shot. Nothing will bring our darling loves back but it is a great thing to be completely heard and understood.
With love
Sophie x
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Thank you Sophie this the hardest thing ever. I am sorry for your loss too. I really think I need to do it now even if that means zoom. Much love Lisa xx
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