I’m a 61 year old, supposed ‘grown up.’ My beloved mum died of vascular dementia in July 2017. Although I felt I was ready for her to leave because she was very poorly, it simply broke my heart when she died. For about two months I felt completely devastated and found it hard to function. I felt like I was going to go mad and ended up with meds. from the doctor, but, gradually, little by little, my sadness began to ease and I felt what I can only describe as ‘normal grief.’ I was still very low still but managed to start putting my life back together.
On January the 20th it was my mums 83 birthday and I have collapsed. I spend my time feeling unbearably anxious and crying and I feel like I’m in a million shattered pieces. I don’t know what to do but I’m thinkling I may need some 1:1 counselling. Has anyone tried this and did it help? It’s very expensive and i’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I would be very grateful for your thoughts.

Hi Julie,
I picked up the thread from another conversation. I think it is going to be a long haul for us both and time will only tell. I was warned off counselling since it was still too raw (whenever will it become unraw or the pain lessen???) but I think if you can get 1:1 support from Cruse or via your GP that may add to the healing process for you…but not if you have to pay for it…the added burden of getting use to your counsellor, opening up and then feeling able to express your anxieties may take time and if you are on the clock of an hour then it may take a lot of time, effort and finances on your part. Online is OK for a bit but, it does not give the warmth of human contact.

Have you tried Cruse for support or if not asking your GP guidance? There is a 24 help and information line 111 (formerly HNS Direct) who can signpost you to such counselling in your area?
I understand about the milestone days…so I can sympathise. My mother would have been 89 on Christmas day.
I remember her telling me years ago that she went to a medium who predicted she would live until she was 90…got that wrong then. The Chrystal ball must have been misted up…
take care