I’m like that now, just say, “i’m ok,” even when i’m not. I just feel they don’t get it or don’t know how to deal with it when you start telling them. Oh i’ll get through it one way or another. It’s just another day but will have very mixed emotions. Thanks.
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Hi @Scamp1 i no exactly how you feel i lost my wife of 51 years after a very short illness before that we had lots of friends, neighbours and work colleagues then Bang in one blow nothing no calls from friends or neighbours we have known for over 30 years what have i done thats what i thought.
How can people be so dismissive that oh he ok they tell themselves how wrong can they be.
After 8 months it becomes difficult to carry on grief hasn’t any time limits all i can do is take one day at a time with no outside help it is a living nightmare 
.
My only consolation is that one day this nightmare will be theirs maybe then they may realise how selfish and cruel they are.
If this is what the human race has sunken to maybe its time to jump off
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Yes, i can empathise with all of that. Amazing how so called friends disappear! All we can do is one day at a time.
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First words my neighbours said to me was could i put their bin out as they were going on holiday. They’ve been bsck 3 weeks now. No thank you and haven’t spoken since. Saw her a couple of days ago and totally ignored me. I’ve done loads for them even looking after their dog although my husband was on oxygen. I’m learning the hard way I’m afraid i certainly won’t be doing it again. I’m learning to say no. Just me and my 17yrs old dog. We come first now. Ive got nothing to lose now. Gone is the best person in my life . Always been told I’m a soft touch but unfortunately I’ve had to learn to harden up.
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That’s awful & i’m sorry to hear that. I certainly got to the stage where i said stuff em. I have 2 dogs & they’re my life now. We used to 4 & now we’re 3. So we’ll take care of eachother & the rest can bog off! Might sound harsh to some but it really hurt. I had all the, ooh if you need anything just ask but when i did most of the time there was always a reason they couldn’t. So i crack on, on my own.
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Totally agree. Took my old dog out this.morning. we only go a little way down a path. One of my husband’s friend was right at the other end with his dog and waited until i turned round to come back and then started to walk up. To be honest i just thought i really don’t care. The best one said if i needed anything just phone him. I thought that was nice but then asked if i was going to sell my car could he have it. Amazing. I have had one genuine person a colleague of my husband and sent me a message to ask how i was and needed anything. He himself has got cancer and on oxygen. At least on this site everyone is the same. Real people. One day we will all get through this and we’ll all be a lot stronger. If we can all get through this we will all get through anything because nothing can be worse than this. Take care
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At least on here you know others understand what you are saying & it’s a place where you can express your feelings. I want everyone to take care & we will come out the otherside. It will just be different.
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Hi very well said talking on this forum has been a tower of help as i am on my own with the many people who supported me a huge thank you all
Mike
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Hi, like all of you on here I am all alone now. Few friends we had have all dissapeared and neighbours of 43 years just dont want to know. I always take in neighbours parcels etc but now feel as though I dont want to.I feel this sounds like ‘poor me’ but that is how I feel at the moment. I’m just crying most of the time now. How sad is that. I never thought my life would come to this. I have no purpose.
Hi AnnieG, yes it’s weird how so called friends disappear! I had the, if you need anything just ask but when i did, there was always some excuse/ reason as to why they couldn’t. I’m a very independent & hate asking, i don’t unless i really need too. I’m also disabled which makes life harder. I’m not going for a sympathy vote here but it’s the truth. My disabilities affect my every day stuff. Until it’s happened to you, you’ve no idea. Walking, we take for granted & i can’t to much of that now. So yes with my other health issues l8fe isn’t easy day to day. I do my best though & always at the end of the phone for others. Just don’t offer something if really you’re not going to do it. My friend & i used to say, as long as i had her & she had me, we’d be fine & we were. We overcame loads & supported eachother through good & bad. Now i’m alone & have to try & carry on with that saying but without her. Not easy & as i was her carer it is hard to think or see what your purpose now is in life. I’m lucky i have 2 dogs, i swear if i hadn’t, i wouldn’t be hear. They were our babies & she’d never forgive me if i didn’t take care of them. They lost one mum, they can’t lose another. Is still incredibly hard though, she was my rock & i do feel like my heart & spine have been ripped out.
I’m the same. Just after my husband died neighbours asked me to put their bin out as they were going holiday which i did as well as looking after their dog last year. Theyve been back 3 weeks now. Not even a thank you or how are you. She even turned her back on me. But do you know i no longer care. I’m toughening up and learning to say no i’ve got absolutely nothing to lose. I literally couldn’t care less.
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Hi all , yeah that’s true , when I lost my twin sister all her friends were saying will always be here , and will always go to cemetery with flowers , not one as been x
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Scamp1, I too am very independant and dont like to ask or rely on others although would always help anyone. A few people have said we are here for you, just ask but I dont think they understand that in our position we want them to check on us and find it way too hard to ask. my fault really I suppose. Take care. x
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Hi @AnnieG1 i also have suffered a total loss of friends and neighbours some i havee helped over many years. It is incredibly sad that they cannot pop in like they used to for a chat or a cup of tea. I don’t think its because they dont know what to say i believe they think oh he’s stil about so I must be ok, how wrong can they be some days i just cry because the grief is so much to bare with nobody to talk to. I helped a close neighbour who is undergone cancer treatment i looked after his pets recently spent all day cleaning his garden up and done everything i could to help but now a month on no visit I’m only 3 houses away i ask myself what have i done to be shunned by everyone.
Got to the point now that to hell with them I’ll muddle along on my own.
I’ve got my little dog the rabbits, chickens and my aviary of love birds so stuff em i say.
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Sadnow, I know exactly how you feel. It is the loneliness that I am finding it very hard to cope with. Stay strong, easier said than done I know. x
Hi thank you for your reply there is only a limited conversation you can have with the animals, all i want is someone at least vist and have a normal conversation its the company i miss yes my daughter 
is very supportive she is battling cancer and lives 40 miles away so she cant visit my son seems to busy to even text me i know he misses his mother and underlying thinks i could have done more to have prevented her sudden passing.
But we never knew how ill she was because she covered up her symptoms.
So again another day on my own with my memories perhaps the rabbit might enjoy a chat
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AnnieG1, yes i get what you’re saying. You take care too.
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Hi Sadnow, yes i get a bit like that, sod em & just get on with things. I say to my doggies, we were a 4, now we’re a 3 but we’re going to be alright. If friends don’t want to talk to us, so be it. When i do get out, at times i speak to strangers more than i do friends!
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I’m sure the rabbit likes a chat & if it helps you, go for it. I talk to my dogs all the time. I talk to them about the mum they’ve lost & i do talk to my friend every day even though she’s gone. I still seek her guidence.
Definitely one day these so called friends and neighbours will themselves face this will they think back " perhaps we could have done better’
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