I need advice as to whether counselling is good and will help
I know every case is different but on this forum which is so helpful we seem to help each other and realise we are not alone and going through the same feelings and similar emotions.
I have one family member who is strongly urging counselling. I feel i just need a hug and time and lots of understanding
I would really appreciate if anyone has had counselling did it help?
Thanks Heartsand
It is really hard as everyone and every situation is different.
I havenât yet but my son has. He was in the car when his dad was killed and so I think really needed it for the trauma.
I feel a bit like you in that I donât know if it would be anymore helpful than my sister and friends understanding and hugs. They canât bring him back
I would say donât let anyone force you do what you feel is right. If you go and it doesnât help you donât have to keep going
Sending hugs x
I had councilling face to face weeks after my husband passed it did help me as I couldnât even leave the house but 17 and half months later I now suffer with bad anxiety to the trauma of loosing him so once again Iâm having counselling but this is with Mental health itâs good and helping me how to cope with anxiety but have also been told that I need more Bereavement councilling as the councilling I had was too early so yes each individual is different but councilling was the best thing for me take care
I had counselling.i didnât notice it helped but my son noticed I didnât drive him crazy off loading so he wished I would continue but it is very expensive unless it is free and you only get six sessions free at a time. No way would I think it worth the fees for when I would get more benefit spending those fees on a night at a spa hotel
Hi, I have not had counselling. My husband passed away in April this year . I think this forum is brilliant for understanding and advice. I also attend a face to face bereavement support group every fortnight. I have always been able to wear my heart on my sleeve and feel that my âtherapyâ has been my ability to talk about how I feel to friends and family. Whilst they donât necessarily understand because theyâve not been through the experience, the benefit is that I offloadâŚitâs each to their own really but do what you feel is right and what you are happy with, Jo
I went on a bereavement course but didnât get anything out of it as too many people so couldnât get a say because whoever got in first same person so got timed out and so I couldnât offload. Just felt frustrated. Also organisers said would put into small groups to get round it but never did. I agree easier to write it down .
What have you got to lose?
There are some things that girlfriends and hugs canât reach. Give it a try.
Decide if you would prefer a male or female, which age range is comfortable for you, research those who specialize in bereavement.
Do it one on one, face to face, not in a group.
Go once a week, follow their lead for a minute.
Read the recommended books, reflect on your sessions and in a couple of months, take your pulse on a yes or no to continue.
Sell something if you must to pay for the sessions. Invest in yourself.
Thatâs all I have.
Peace.
Talk therapy never helped me w/ much of anything. Thatâs just me though. I like the somatic therapies like Core Energetics, Radix, etc. EMDR helps some and Brain Spotting Iâve heard can help, too. Itâs so individual.
I had counselling, offered by the hospice about 12 weeks after N died.
I was offered 12 weeks initially, I liked the counsellor and felt safe with her. There was no pressure, no judgement, just a safe space to talk and to cry, and occasionally laugh.
I told her things I would never tell anyone else.
She offered some coping strategies for different times, we talked through how and when I might use them.
My counselling was extended to 18 weeks in the end.
If you have the opportunity, try it. Itâs not for everyone and you have to feel comfortable with the counsellor. I felt a bit uncomfortable for the first session or two as I didnât know what to expect but Iâm so very glad I went, it definitely helped
I went straight to a psychiatrist , an MD, 30 years ago and spent whatever I had to spend to do so. I was willing to sell my home if necessary. It wasnât. The best money I ever spent and so glad I spent it on ME. Worth every penny. I saw him on and off for 17 years until he moved away.
I never found counselors to be of any help and stopped going after a visit or two. But, one did give me a bit of advice, which is so true: âthe key to happiness is to hang out with people you really like who also really like you.â
Peace to everyone. Good night. May you all sleep well and wake refreshed.
Yes be really good if could find such people where is a two way like when get older.
I had counselling but it was on the phone as it was during Covid. My husband died of Covid so I wasnât expecting his death and I wasnât allowed to be with him. I go over and over this in my mind. It was four and a half years ago and to be honest it doesnât get that much easier. The raw pain has passed and I have learnt to live with grief. What helped me with talking to a counsellor was the fact that I could talk about Colin without judgement. I feel that my friends and family wonât talk about him, possibly they think it will upset me, but I want to talk about him and this is where counselling helped. I also spoke to a Medium and this helped too because she talked about Colin a lot and thatâs what I want to do. Everyoneâs grief is different and I hope you can find your way to cope.
Chelsea - this must have been such a nightmare for you, I am so very sorry for your loss. i hope this new year brings you peace, happiness and joy.
I find it hard to use the past tense when talking about him. He âlikesâ as opposed to he âlikedâ, he eats versus he ate, etc.
My husband will never be my past, he is my always and forever.
May peace fall upon you and your home.
Yes talking about past tenses is a tough one. I get round it by referring to my late husband in the present tense in my mind. If I voiced that to those who donât understand they would think I was crazy but it reminds me that one counselor did say that is actually normal and ok. So I forgot that positive until now. I think sometimes what would he would have said. Like he would have moaned about if there was a mess and cleared it up. Sometimes it encourages me to try to do it to please him as if he is watching. Because I kinda want him to be there. Other times I say I donât have to now right now. Stop moaning. I came in from being in a five star hotel and it hit me the difference. Made me think I must do it. I had left with no time to clear up. My late husband hated doing that and wanted to come back to it hunky dory. I used to say get the important things done first like everything we need to take. He never worried about that. But I saw what he meant and wished I had been like him.
Trouble is I donât have same energy.