Counting days

Newly reached out to this community. Lost my dad 19 days ago and we have his funeral Monday. I’m struggling to get to sleep tonight, Im shocked at how irrational my typical brain can be right now. I feel like he’s waiting for me somewhere or on holiday or even at the hospital still… But I know this isn’t true, I’ve visited him at the Chapel Of Rest. I was with him when he died… When does this denial/shock merge into some form of acceptance? After the funeral or is it a fluid path that you slip back into later down the line…


Hey @Buddleia9 Sorry you’re going thru this. It’s still very raw for you right now. I lost my Dad 26 weeks ago & I still don’t fully accept he’s gone. I remember those early days & after the funeral I actually felt worse because it reinforced the fact that his life had ended & ours carried on. I take things very slowly & I don’t expect too much. Some days are worse than others. Every morning I still think I dreamt it all until I remember. Sorry I’m not being much help but I just wanted to say I understand. X


So sorry for your loss.
My dad passed away 5 weeks ago and we had his funeral last Tuesday. Me and family members were also present when he passed but my thoughts just sometimes think he is still at the hospital or even at home with my mum but then the flip side is that it just hits me when I realise he is not here anymore and that I won’t see him or hear his voice again and that’s when I am at my lowest and can’t help but sob my heart out because I miss him so much.
Grief does not follow any pattern or time frame. You just got to let yourself feel any emotions that come your way. You could be ok, numb and in shock one day and the next day inconsolable or angry but just know that whatever you are feeling, we have been there here and we can support you x
Also talking about carrying on with our lives. I’m going on a little staycation break on Friday for a week which was booked up when my dad was first ill but not terminal but I can’t help but feel guilty about being slightly happy. I feel like I shouldn’t be so soon after losing a loved one. It’s weird but I know my dad wouldn’t want me to feel this way and for me to go and have fun.


@Buddleia9 I think the pre-funeral days are a stage of their own and then afterwards the loss and absence really takes hold. My Mum died in January and I still have days when I feel like it’s impossible that she isn’t here. Grief is a rocky road to travel along, so many bumps along the way… Best wishes xx

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