Does anyone else count the weeks since they lost their son or daughter, I do and not sure if it’s a good idea…I’m so totally broken but really not sure. I hate Fridays, so I pretend we don’t have a Friday in the week. Is this crazy I ask? Looking for any ideas to make this horrendous situation a tiny bit easier please. Thank you . Love to everyone who is suffering like I am xx
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Hello @MJG,
Thank you for starting this thread and for opening up on here about losing your Son 
I can see from another thread that you have been in touch with The Compassionate Friends which is really good to hear - I do hope that helps.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Thank you again - take good care,
Megan
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Hi,
Just to say I too have counted the weeks, I went from hours to days and to months, you’re not mad, just coping with the an unimaginable scenario you find yourself in. The pain and sadness I feel has not changed over time, I still miss him and hole he has left in our lives and as the days, weeks and months go by I sometimes feel a little more accepting that he has gone and I spend my time missing him rather than reliving the horror of the day he died. My day is Wednesday I now spend some time on that morning remembering my son and his smile.
Take care x
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Thank you for that. I thought I was going crazy thinking I’m the only person who could be doing this….in a way I’m glad I’m not alone if you know what I mean. The flashbacks I have can be horrendous to that Friday as I call it and the sound of sirens terrifies me still but trying to think I needed help and emergency services are going to help someone. I have never experienced pain like it, but when I am rational I think he is at peace and not fighting the evil of addiction. I tried so hard for the last 14 years, he had his ups and downs and when he was on form he was my fantastic son, which he always will be but under the influence another character appeared unfortunately. I made step forward today and went out for a bike ride on my own and also joined compassionate friends. Also starting writing a daily journal which is totally private to me…maybe this will help. I’m so sorry for your loss and at least you understand me. Thank you, stay strong xx
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Thank you for your reply and you are very welcome. I know what you mean, you wouldn’t wish this scenario on anyone but it’s good not too feel alone.
That’s a good thought to have about the emergency services and shows you are working on turning your thoughts around , which is never easy.
Keep hold of those positive thoughts of your fantastic son, you were fighting his demons for a long time now you need time to heal and with the bike ride , joining compassionate friends, posting on this community and writing in a journal you are making some very brave steps forward, I’m proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.
Keep going x
Thank you so much for those kind words, so appreciated 
xx
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Hi there firstly sorry for your loss. My son died last march on my birthday aged 20 it were on a tuesday so i kept counting every tuesday after that and to be honest Tuesday’s triggered me at first but as time has gone on i dont really think of tuesdays now xx
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I’m so sorry that you have lost your son too . You said your son died on your birthday, that can’t be easy for you and your family.
I have found as time has gone by since my son died in October 2022 that every celebration he has missed whether it be a birthday, Christmas etc. or even the absence of him in the photos at his niece’s christening I find so very upsetting. I’m not sure whether that will get easier as time goes by or whether I will just become accustomed to his physical absence but what I do know is that he is there in my heart, in my memories and in the faces of his siblings, his daughter and his Dad.
Sending you a hug x
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We lost our beautiful daughter to depression when she could not see a way through her distress. Medication failed her, community health intervention failed her, and worst of all I feel I failed her. How could I not have seen what was going to happen and stop her ? It will be 16 weeks this coming Saturday morning, and I can’t believe that we have been without her lovely presence for all that time. I have been journalling and writing poems to express my feelings, and they help. People are so kind to me and want to help but I feel such longing for her, and such regret about how she chose to leave this world. I was a faithful believer in God and heaven, but now I feel no reassurance that she is at peace in heaven. I am going to get some counselling soon, and hope it will help me come to terms with the tragic loss of our beautiful girl.
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Its only been a week for us, so last night was a at this time he was still alive, and thoughts of what we should have done instead, such as sat with him all night, we thought he was safe but i was going to call GP in the morning…how wrong was I. Though alot of our current feelings are due to hindsight and what we know now from his computer. X
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I am so sorry, everything as I well know is a struggle. In the early days I had to write down even the basic things in life to do, I found it helped and it was advice I was given from my friend who is a nurse. Anything helps. I to have gone into my sons iCloud account and I’ve had to pass this into the police. Like you I would think oh this time last week life was different to the hell you and we are in. Do what you think is right for you, it’s little steps and the waves of emotion you have to go with them. Try and eat little meals it helps although even that is difficult. Take it hour by hour. Sending you big hugs xx
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