Covid Bereavement

Hi I am new to this forum.
My Dad passed away in November to COVID and I am struggling to cope. I miss him dearly we were so close. I am still traumatised by his passing we (My mum and brother) were fortunate to be by his bedside but it wasn’t peaceful as I would of hoped.
I feel a such a void and I feel like I am trying to keep myself busy trying to keep my mind off the hurt but burning myself out. Can anyone give me any advice? It all feels so surreal how can my Dad no longer be here?

Your dad will always be with you in your thoughts and in your heart. I struggled when I lost my dad (almost 14yrs ago - feels like yesterday). I built a wall around myself and kept busy to the point that when my husband was ill almost 9 years ago everything came tumbling down.

My husaband passed away on Christmas Eve 2020, very unexpectedly. I have no idea how to live without him but I have promised myself that I will live my life in honour of him, he was so full of life.

I started writting a journal of all my thought, feelings, pain, lonliness etc . I know use this in my bereavement councilling session (I get this help through the hospice, I did’nt know they did this till a friend told me about it).

Get help, don’t try to be brave, cry, scream, shout there is no rule book for grief, its different for everyone, do it your way.

Hi Missboo, I’m so sorry of your loss. I’m also new to this, in fact social media has never been part of my life. I’m here because I’m desperate to seek out people who I can relate to. I’ve lost many family members in my lifetime. The loss of my dad on Monday has broken me. I’m in physical pain, it’s a constant lump in my chest what I can’t shift. I’m so happy that you were able to spend time in hospital with your loved one, I would of loved that opportunity but sadly was not allowed. My dad also had COVID with little symptoms, only when his blood oxygen levels was measured the doctor had concerns and immediately sent him to hospital, where he sadly stayed, alone. We would ring up 3 times a day for updates and was always told the same “dads very poorly but stable” until Monday when we were told there was nothing more they could do. Our life’s were instantly crushed, none of us thought our normally fit and healthy father would die. I’m lucky to have good family around to grieve with (it helps) but times like now where I’m lay in bed praying for sleep, I suffer like nothing I’ve ever experienced, a feeling of what to do? I can’t read, watch tv because I can’t remove anything from my head. I wish you all the luck in the world in pulling yourself through this. The only advice I give to myself and hopefully you is “this can’t get any worse”.

Hi kezza, I think the poem you’ve kindly provided is beautiful and so true. I’ve literally not cried since I was a child, this week I can’t stop, it’s awful, I feel absolutely drained, I’ve barely eaten (not like me) I normally train six days a week, but now I can’t even look at my weights because my dad worked out also. I couldn’t watch Everton play tonight because I’d normally ring dad throughout the game. I spent this morning with my mum this morning trying to organise a funeral and burial plot. I cried my way through it all. This behaviour is so alien to me but the last 3 days it’s become the norm. I hope this pain eases, sooner the better . I’m so sorry for your loss, and if you or anybody else ever wants to speak directly, I would love to, I think it could potentially help us both. All the best for the future.

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Thankyou Kezza and Liam for your beautiful poem and kind words it is nice to be able to reach out to others going through the same grief.
It’s still so surreal for me and like yourself Liam I find it difficult to watch my football team as it was mine and Dads favourite place we were season ticket holders and Dad loved going only now during lockdown it’s hard enough but to start going back to matches properly I think I will be overcome with sadness of him not being there with me and my eldest son. He enters my thoughts every minute of every day though I try to plough on I feel succumbed by a heaviness suppressing me. I hope you both find strength to push through I know it has changed me as a person forever and I try to focus on being there for my mum now all alone and think how she must be feeling through all this.
Thinking of you both please keep me informed of how your getting on take care and keep in touch xx