Covid guilt

I lost my partner to covid in February 21 he was fit and healthy. We both had covid but he got worse as I got better. I beat myself up every day thinking I missed something that might have saved him ! We couldn’t get through to his drs but took painkillers plenty of fluids fresh air over the counter medicines but they didn’t work I rang 111 and they said carry on doing what your doing. I have just visited his sister who has said 3 times to me now I wish he had got antibiotics off his Dr!!! Omg this just sets me back so much :sob: I used to think this every day in fact I rang and asked his Dr and he said he would not have offered them as he was healthy and it wouldn’t have changed anything :pensive: I feel that his family think I missed something and somehow contributed to his death I cannot deal with this l loved him with everything I have did I miss something :broken_heart: :cry:

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Hi, I am sorry you are going through such horrible times without the family support you should have. Families can be both good and bad and they can say such horrible things without really thinking abou and understanding the hurt they cause. The GP has told you the truth, I am sure you have past that on to his family, so please look at it seriously and you know there is nothing more you could have done. Please if you are finding it hard to cope with your loss have a look into counselling it is very good for most people, jus a few do not get what they hope to achieve. Both Cruise and Sue Ryder offer free on sessions of counselling. Try it and see there’s not much to lose. Main while take and stop worrying abut the things we can’t change or the people we can’t change.

Thank you so much Suzie I will look into counselling again x I did have some early days but find I’m struggling more now when all the support has faded away as people start to think you are 'over it" which obviously is not true x just miss him so much and hate the thought of my future without him x :broken_heart: take care and thank you again for responding :heart:

Ouch @Ang12.
That thoughtless remark by your Sister-in-law must have hurt.
For what it’s worth - and I know only too well how nothing really helps in times of grief - antibiotics do bugger all in the treatment of viruses.
As Covid is a viral illness, antibiotics would not have made 1 iota of difference to the outcome for your dear partner.

It is so hard when we look at our individual circumstances with the benefit of hindsight.

I doubt there is a single person on this forum who hasn’t thought “if only” at some point or other.

But, Ang12, none of us knew then what we know now because none of us can see into the future.

We just did our best with the knowledge we had at the time.

Focus on yourself now Ang, and look after your own mental health.
Your Sister-in-law must deal with her own grief.
Don’t allow her to dump it in your lap.

Take care.


Thank you for your response yes sometimes I think that’s all we can do is look after ourselves and don’t be too hard on ourselves I know I would have given anything to save him I have to just keep telling myself there was nothing I could do if the drs and nurses couldn’t how could I but them comments just hurt and took me right back !:broken_heart::heart: xx