CPR on my mom but I couldn't save her

It’s coming up to a whole year since I lost my mom but the thing that I can’t get over is that I had to perform CPR on her until the paramedics arrived. I just keep reliving it and it tears me apart. Everything was so sudden and traumatic and it’s something that my dad and brother didn’t have to experience. I couldn’t save her. I tried so hard. I don’t want it to be the thing that I think about everytime I think of her. She died 2 days before my birthday which is next week and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through it all. Everyone is saying how at least this birthday will be better than last year but for me it is just bringing back all of the trauma.

4 Likes

Aww Kaytee I understand how you must feel. My mum passed just over a year ago and it’s still very difficult to come to terms with. You are bound to remember and feel sad at your birthday and on the day she passed. Think of something to do that is just for you and her. Have you got a favourite place she liked so you can visit there for a few minutes.
Thinking of you
Deborah x

So sorry for your experience Kaytee. :broken_heart:

Well done for performing CPR. :yellow_heart: I don’t understand what you mean by being unable to save your mum, though. You did the right thing, ensuring that there was still oxygen flowing to your mum’s brain. But not all hearts can be shocked back into rhythm by the paramedics using defibrillators. In other words, you couldn’t have done anything more than you did. (Apologies if I’ve misunderstood).

Have you sought counselling for the truama? :yellow_heart:

Sending love :heart: I lost mum on new year’s day. Been with her just 3 hours before and all fine but when I didn’t get a reply when I phoned her I popped round and found her on the couch. She was 83 and was just on the couch ready for bed. But they told me to do CPR even though I knew she’d gone. I’m trying so hard to tell myself that she’s slipped away in her sleep and the paramedic said there was nothing I could have done. The call handler doesn’t know the situation but then again maybe if I didn’t perform it that would eat away at me too. I’m just trying to take comfort that she died a peaceful death just as she wanted unlike my dad who has cancer and suffered. She lived life right up until the end so the quality of her life was good and just how she wanted until the day she died. I’ll never get over this and losing both parents is another level but in going to do my best to try to live my life the way they both would have wanted. Sending love and strength to all :heart:

1 Like