It’ll be a year on 25th July for Craig 
I miss him more now than in the beginning!
I’m angry, sad, more emotional than ever and completely gaga.
I’ve found a job so that my brain is working, rather than thinking constantly of him. But the brain fog of grief is causing anxiety. My son describes my brain as a washing machine, going round and round sometimes slowly but most of the time on a spin🥹
My mouth and my brain often don’t work together.
What am I doing?
What am I to do?
I’ve got everything but nothing! Money means nothing 
Sometimes I think I just don’t want to be here.
Then I think of my children and I’m grateful that he wasn’t their dad.
I’m grateful for them Ellie & Dan
I’m grateful for my red Labrador Lula
I’m grateful for my beautiful garden
I’m grateful for me
My job has helped me find me again, but. It’s so hard and I don’t want to be alone and not loved by someone who knew me inside out.
I miss his hugs more than anything but know I must go on❤️
I’m wishing my life away thinking that if I get July out of the way I’ll cope a little better but know I have no idea what it’ll bring!
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I find I m wishing the months away thinking one day we ll be together again but I ve lost my faith.
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