No ducks since I bought duck food 
but they are still about down the lade at the back of the shop so someone else is feeding them I reckon xx
1 Like
Love the British Museum. Went there for my birthday last year (the Nero exhibition) had a really wonderful weekend with Mum. We adored our London jaunts.
Thought this was very apt for us all:
Beki x
4 Likes
Love that framework on that picture Neil. Itās really striking. A great photo. Always interested in seeing the photos that are posted. Hope you are doing ok. x
3 Likes
Hi Debbie
Zoe wouldnāt do anything. Too overwhelmed I think. Apparently Each sibling, of which there were 13 had at least two āparentsā and theyād set up this little doggy gymkhana but she was just too scared. Wouldnāt even chase itās own ball! x
2 Likes
Hi Christine, how you doing? Didnāt sleep last night as a result of a tearful episode. A mixture of grieving and being used and emotionally abused and just couldnāt care less whether I woke up or not. āOr notā was preferable.
How are the baby roses? My ground roses have blooms the size of cats faces. The pot roses I had bought have stabilised now and one has a big bud. So Iām looking forward to what it will smell like as itās fragranced.
Hope creep is keeping a low profile. Iām dreading next week. The next door man breaks up for 8 weeks as college tutors get longer. Heās not a pest but you are just aware that you have to be on your best behaviour. Ie, no swearing/shouting at Zoe to drop the pebbles/screwdriver thatās in its mouth while his chasing round the garden. I donāt have any photos of Zoes ābirthday partyā. Apparently she was too scared to join in.
Enjoy the gardening. Look forward to seeing pictures when you are up to it.
xx
3 Likes
Oh bless her, should have had something of your brotherās for her to chew. Might have felt a bit more confident.
2 Likes
Hi Beki.
I saw the Nero exhibition too. It was fabulous wasnāt it?. Only downside of going there is the large numbers of school parties. At least its huge inside though. Need to get to the V&A museum next as I havent actually been there before .
Hope you are having as good a Thursday as you can
Love and best wishes
Neil x
3 Likes
The V&A is wonderful. Just seen an email from them about a Coco Chanel exhibition they are doing next year and would love to see that. I have an old school friend who goes to them and am going to ask her if sheād like to take a trip with me as donāt want to do things like that on my own.
Beki x
3 Likes
My manager who is leaving today to move to another store wrote this card to me and I was so touched that I was quite tearyā¦so not me lol x
3 Likes
Thatās so lovely Suzanne x
2 Likes
Hi Beki
Hoping to take in the Africa Fashion exhibition as itās getting brilliant reviews and do the theatre and performance tour while Iām there x
3 Likes
Thatās so lovely you are going to miss him when he has gone lets hope your new manager is as kind 
1 Like
@Beki and @NEILB72, I havenāt been to V&A, it was one of the places we had planned to go next, but wasnāt to be. One day maybe.
2 Likes
Hope you are both able to keep in touch. That is such a thoughtful little note. x
2 Likes
I can think of a few things of his she could chew Debbie, x
2 Likes
Hi all,
I have so ill with my stomach. Hope itās just a bug. Thought it was chronic fatigue. So had to cancel swimming but glad my niece went on her own after a little encouragement. Found out dad is nasty to my sister too so not just me. Thinks he can comment and not care about the effect he has. Got a text back from my other sister and will catch up soon. Sheās super busy with work and life generally so its not that sheās ignoring me.
Had to cancel the bbq for today as still not up to it. Workmen are very noisy and laughing next door (laughed at me when I went to the car for no reason that I can fathom) so not the greatest atmosphere for a party anyway. I blasted them with some hiphop while I sat in the garden so they shut up. Very aware of being watched. So I have that on one side and then the creep bold as brass when he comes in on the other. Watered the garden yesterday but takes about 2 hours and had to keep sitting down as I went as no energy to even stand up. Still not dressed yet but hope to water it again today.
Tina, I love that your roses have blooms the size of cats faces. Iāll remember that as I go round seeing all the ones I planted that havenāt even got any green on them, never mind buds. All that work and so many seem to have died. Think I took too much on. I did take pics but still havenāt looked through for posting. Will do that today when I sit with Porscha on the patio.
Itās such a shame Zoe was scared at the party. I reckon she needs a buddy to play with so she becomes socialised and not scared of other dogs and just being out of her garden generally. You should give her some of your brothers shoes to chomp on while heās at work. Serves him right for being mean to you. If you treated Zoe to something of his every time heās a buggar it might stop him.
I have the lovely mamma cat from along the doors snoozing and twitching on the bed next to me. She sleeps all day and growls in protest at having to leave at night because Porscha fights with her. Sheās such a sweetie. She even allowed me to cut out a massive dreadlock on her leg that sheās had for ages. Her fur is so long and wafty sheās like a Persian princess. Lovely just resting and playing Sherlock computer game. It would drive me mad normally just lolling around. I can always guage how ill I am when I canāt be bothered to do stuff and everything is a task.
Canāt believe itās another week gone again. 32 weeks yester for mam. Anything I do is a bonus to not doing anything at all. Still feel really lost without her. And having the pains in my stomach upsets me because mam had pain and couldnāt eat but hid it until it was too late and I didnāt know. All that time I could have just been with her. I wonder if Iāll get the same thing. Having scans on my organs in a few weeks because of the pains, ongoing now for 6 months. The GP said the gut is the second brain for grief. Iām not eating much but not losing weight so a strange one.
Iāve run out of energy again so will have to catch up later. Havenāt finished reading everyoneās posts yet so will get back to you all later today. Hope to be reenergised with a bit of sun after getting ready. Seems like a mammoth task but canāt just lie in bed all day. Wish mam was still here and life had never stopped. Iād be going over to see her at the weekend and probably going to the garden centre and then helping to plant up in the garden. Oh to have that again. Itās become like a precious jewel now that I can never have again. Wonāt be seeing dad again or doing anything with him that I did with mam. Wonder if he was always nasty and mam made him appear nicer than he is by keeping him in check. Iāll never know. But I love her even more for doing that. Sheās such a beautiful and generous person. I wish I could tell her. She has always just been my mam and I never seen her as a person. I suppose we donāt with our parents. It must only be in grief that we see them as real people and not the role they play in our lives. I miss being her child. I miss feeling protected and safe. Iām back to not wanting to wake up and be with her.
5 Likes
So sorry you are poorly Christine but good you are getting checked out. I had a full set of bloods done the other week and all pretty okay with them. I see my new GP at the beginning of August to follow up.
Looks like a hot hot week ahead so I am going to sort out my wardrobe today and get ready loads of cool outfits so I can just change each day and every time I overheat without having to fight through the wardrobe!
This is the first week of me being back at work full time and it has been fine I am pleased to say. I work with such lovely people. The card from your colleague @Suzanne30 is so lovely and thoughtful. Nice to be reminded there are such people in the workforce still.
Hope everyone has a kind day x
Beki xx
3 Likes
Hi Christine
Sorry to hear you have been unwell. Hope that you will be feeling much better soon.
Not a good day for me, went up to the High St this morning and had to walk past a funeral. I glanced at the flowers with MUM on display just as mine were so that has set me back .
But shortly I will be booking another theatre ticket so that will hopefully refocus my mind. Also had the National Theatre members new season guide through the post which cheered me up.
Really hope you are feeling better soon Christine
Sending lots of love and best wishes
Neil x
3 Likes
Hi Christine, Iām sorry your not feeling very well at the moment, Iām sure the hot weather doesnāt help with feeling exhausted. It seems to drain your energy, well it does me.
I didnāt have you down as a hip hop fan, it did the trick though.
Iām glad your sister up north replied to you, itās easy to get distracted and forget to reply straight away. Me and my sister take turns in phoning each other but sometimes a couple of weeks before we know it and remember itās my turn to ring.
I was talking to a lady from Cruse yesterday and she said physical illness is all part of grieving, as well as the emotional, and we all know how that hurts.
I hope your scans are clear and it will settle your mind from worrying. Itās easy to take our mums for granted and when they are not here you realise how precious they are and central part of your life. I know my children now worry more about me since lossing their dad.
I hope you feel better soon.
Love Debbie X
3 Likes
Hi Neil,
Hoping tonight was easier on you cause I can imagine how upsetting seeing the funeral car was x
Was a bit low tonight which was a shame cause had an alright day but had a chippy tea with the goddaughter so mood has raised a little x
Look forward to hearing what shows youāll choose to go to next x
Do you have anything planned for this weekend and if not what are your plans? Iām working tomorrow and then out for a meal at night for my leaving manager so free meal, all good 
x
Have a good day whatever you decide to do and catch up soon 
x
3 Likes