Hi Neil,
I read your post last night and was so tired I had to wait until this morning to get back to you. Thank you so much for saying mam would be proud. It’s all for her. I hope she sees it and it makes her smile too! Glad it brightened up your day. I just got my prawns out to deforst for my starter tomorrow and have a beef xmas dinner and will do my version (because I can’t cook shortbread) of mams pineapple cream shortbread tower pud thing. It was a traditional favourite. She tried other fruits too but pineapple was the best. Will post a pic tomorrow. I’ve really had to push myself to make an effort with the food. It will make tomorrow more bearable than last year. I’m hoping that tv and starting another of mams old jigsaw puzzles will keep me busy. Wondering if the kids will pop in from round the corner but I very much doubt it. Seems my sister really has abandoned me after mam leaving, as well as dad (don’t even know if he has gone to be with my sis up north for xmas). So I have to accept I am alone and just have to get on with it. Can’t do anything else. And I don’t blame you for swerving the very kind invitation for Boxing Day. It will be chaos! Nothing worse than excited kids when they don’t belong to your own clan! And don’t feel guilty at all about not having got a wreath. Mine is in the garden and only because I had extra ivy left over off the decorating. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered. My house from the street looks like I’ve done buggar all. It’s like it’s a secret for mam in the back garden.
I was awake very early and managed to trawl through my pics of my xmas bedroom. It’s an extension of the theme in the garden. So here it is. Hope it makes you smile!
Setting the scene with my winter canopy. Gone for a vintage theme using wool blankets adorned with ivy garlands. My mini tree was perfectly sized and shaped for my bedside table and plays with scale next to the old dolls house. Red kisses for mam continues the theme from the garden.
My theme is my childhood.
Old Pandy is 52 now, very threadbare but still happy. He loves Christmas and is joined by some carefully selected ornaments which reminds me of mam.
My baby shoes represent the unconditional love mam has always had for me. She accepted me for being me, however naughty ! and never tried to change me.
Three little bells used to hang on her tree and now represents her three daughters.
I hope she has a guardian angel watching over her
now that she is an angel herself and has unlocked the gates of Heaven.
Cherubs and angels chatter
as Pandy and pals try to contain their excitement of Santa as he prepares his sleigh.
Teddy bears gather (mam and her 3 girls) and are joined by a boggle eyed bunny (a gift from my niece representing all the grand children) as festivities gain momentum.
We always went ice skating with my niece and nephews as part of our traditional trips in the run up to Christmas.
I hope to start new traditions in the future, embracing new friendships with much love (represented in the beautiful ornaments from Beki x)
Gold glitter angels (made a few years ago from card, and string) party in the canopy and my old ballet slippers dance once again.
Mams Santa cushion always came out at Christmas, along with her festive hand towels (don’t know how they are so bright white - won’t stay like that for long!)
Upsetting to get them out but glad I did.
Remembered to clove my satsumas, layering fragrance to the scene.
Added my textile bauble I made at school. It was mam’s favourite ornament and always sat on top of the Christmas tree until it sadly broke because it was so ancient.
Such intricate machine embroidery. I don’t do this minute detail in my work now because it has become much more abstract.
Kisses for mam start clambering from the little tree to the garland, along the canopy and through the door
along the hallway.
Some take a wrong turn into the bathroom, along the mirror
and into the garland
in an attempt to get out the window into the garden.
Most manage to find the kitchen where they climb through the vase of ivy
and into the door canopy,
waiting for my next coffee break where I stand with Porsch and look out onto the garden, thinking of mam, wondering where she is and what she’s doing now.
The kisses want to join the others in the big tree where all the fun is happening, meet mam and the cherub, take a ride on Santa’s sleigh. I can hear them buzzing with excitement for Christmas to begin.
Being surrounded by my creativity for mam has made me feel close to her again. I would love to wake up on Christmas morning and find her sitting on my bed. And then I can tell her how much I love her and can’t wait to be with her again. This is my one Christmas wish.
Lots of love xxx
