Hi Christine,
I hope your okay, thinking of you.
Love Debbie x
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Hi Debbie
Yes thank you! It does make a nice change for us to win and to look forward to watching Match Of The Day! X
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Hi Christine
Just dropping by to say Hello.
Nothing exciting to tell today. Well not nice excitement anyway.
Hope you keeping warm.
Much love xx
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Hi Neil
Nice to hear youāve had some football to enjoy.
Football free home here!
Much love xx
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Hi everyone,
Just catching up and able to post at last! Donāt know how long itās been but seems like ages. A combo of things has happened - computer keyboard froze for a few days and had to upgrade to Windows 11 after avoiding upgrade for ages because it always buggars up something. Sorted that and posted to Seychelles and Janebee in āJust lost my mamā and then the tiredness / exhaustion kicked in and I couldnāt continue. Donāt know if itās a reaction to the anxiety surrounding my sistersā move but every time I do something I have to leave it and sleep. Just so exhausted. But I managed to get my things and the fish (just one) which were left outside the old house along with a huge amount of things she still needed to collect (my dad has been ferrying stuff to the new house according to my niece). So itās all over now, They are finally moved out. My niece has stopped replying to my texts and is still with her boyfriend. She had said about swimming and going out on the bikes when she returns in Feb but havenāt heard from her since the move. So Iāve given up. But like Tina said, there anticipation and anxiety surrounding all of the move is over now. Thatās probably why Iām so exhausted. I have chronic fatigue anyway as a reaction to stress where I have to rest / sleep and ā bankā enough energy to be able to return to normal again. Went swimming once after therapy and had to leave early. Will just have to wait until Iām ok again to be doing stuff again.
Iāve really missed you all. Itās a real relief to have caught up with you all. Tina, loving the rug. Itās so textural. Will have to work that into a natural textile. Hoping to do a series of small seasonal studies. If anyone wants to buy wool online have discovered āLovecraftsā for all manner of crafty things. Was very annoyed that my order has disappeared so donāt leave it and go back to it of you are getting anything. Took me ages to do and will have to start again. Being this tired means Iām only functioning on half a brain. Not sure if there was anything sparkly. Oh, your fingers swelling could be the intricate workings of your rug. Sewing means that my right fingers / knuckles are bigger than my left and I do have to stop working when my thumb knuckle swells as itās so painful. Very worrying about your ring though. Not worth losing a finger over! Have you tried using ice or really cold water to get the swelling down? Zoe is so naughty. Such an attention seeker. Itās a game to her, pinching things so youāll join in and Iām sure the biting isnāt malicious, otherwise sheād take your hand off! Maybeās bite her back and let her know whoās boss. Or squirt her with something she doesnāt like to let her know itās naughty.
Debbie, amazing news about your grand daughter. Such a proud grandma! Doug will be there, with you, cheering her on with a tear in his eye. You did make me smile when your son was born and Doug was thrilled to have a boy at last because my dad always wanted me to be a boy. If I had been I would have been āJohn Clark Cā, like something out of Superman. I couldnāt have been more of a tomboy if I tried. I know quite a bit about engines and can change a tyre. Love a power tool and diy. Painting and decorating. Donāt need a man for anything. But I think my love of being independent frightens him. Still love pink though! The fabulous Shaftsbury theatre is a joy. I do like the idea that churches let the grown child choose what they want to be later on. I was christened as was standard in the seventies. Itās good for young people to be given a choice because it promotes responsibility. Iām sure your family will be well balanced and loving people because of it. Mam stopped going to church because dad didnāt want any part of it. She stopped doing so many things that were dear to her.
Neil, always love seeing your pics. Pleased you were able to photograph inside. I remember taking the kids to the Natural History Museum when they were little and they loved all the dinosaur things and were mesmerised by the planets. You have been a busy boy! And picking up your neighbour from the hospital worked out very well for bonus exhibitions you would otherwise not have seen. Itās great that youāre keeping the bucket list going with a view to cinema trips too. Could you work the Ā£2 ticket into seeing things further afield? Such a bargain. Shame not to do something. Great news that your new course is a positive experience and not just something youāre being forced to do. Hope something positive comes out of it for you. Youāre due a bit of good luck. Hope your neighbour gets the all clear for his results. Maybeās you could take another trip with him and do something fun if it is good news. He might welcome the distraction. Hope I can keep up to date with your adventures! now Iām back again. Looking forward to seeing ypour pics.
Suzanne, you always take such beautiful photographs. The trees look like lace against the sky. Can only imagine how cold it must be to have the Loch frozen over like that. Not surprised youāre swerving it until it thaws a little. Always think of you when Iām checking the weather and wonder how you are coping with the cold. Weāre due freezing arctic fog in Feb so that will be fun! Your niece is a very lucky girl getting you out in the car again. She must be saving a bomb on driving lessons. I remember the block lessons I had. One day would be fabulous and the next horrendous. Passed first time but had to slam on my brakes when the lights changed and thought Iād buggared it up. Youāre such a lovely aunty to her. Sheāll be forever grateful to you. I wish my niece would answer my texts. Miss her so much and my nephews. Have you anything exciting planned for your time off, in between lessons? Itās a tricky one because of the cold. A brisk walk in the woods isnāt such fun when all you want is to hide at home watching Netflix with treats.
Hope Iāve remembered everyone. Love to Becky too. Sure sheās being very productive with work. And to Nic and girls. Still havenāt done my lanterns for mam as I have nobody to do it with and donāt want to go to the park on my own. It was mamās 81 st birthday Thursday. I got her some pretty flowers and a lovely pop up card of a greenhouse she would have loved. I was forever tidying the shelving thing she had. Still havenāt posted to mams tribute site but here is the updated shrine:
And here is my new Hilda 2. Looks a bit grumpy but loving the fishtank. Was too cold for the pond and also didnāt want her to be on her own. Elsie likes having a little buddy. Has her eye on Elsie as sheās swimming along.
Havenāt been in the garden apart from to top up the birds and feed the foxes. Not sure if foxes are in the hutch. Didnāt want to disturb. Cat food doesnāt always get eaten so thinking maybeās not. Could be the hedgehogs back again. Xmas trees pretty with a touch of frost.
Had to break the frozen pond a couple of days. Amazed the pump is still working. Pop it on everyday to keep the fountain going as the birds enjoy a drink from it.
Bit upset that my passion flower climber has withered and dropped all its foliage with the cold
but nice to see bright crisp skies with sunshine.
So pleased Iāve caught up with you all. I always feel very lost when I donāt check in and I donāt get email alerts any more. Will need a rest again now! I did do some sewing so have been a little productive between sleeps. Watched āFlowersā with Olivier Coleman (an old channel 4 comedy). Always find a comedy cheers me up when Iām feeling down. Just feel quite lost. Upset for mamās birthday but did get a text from my sis up north saying she would pop in for a scone after work to celebrate mam because she loved a scone. So I did that too when I got mamās flowers, with strawberry jam and clotted cream. I would have gone to the garden centre she loved and done that there but not on my own. We always looked forward to a sit down with a tasty treat when shopping for plants. Always feel better when I get a text in reply to mine. Sheās having bereavement counselling. Sheās allowed to be upset about mam but Iām not. Just donāt understand how that is fair. But pleased itās helping her. Wish my niece would text me back, even if it is to tell me to stop texting her.
Going for a cuppa to keep me awake. So pleased Iāve caught up with you all.
Lots of love xxx
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Forgot to mention, mams oldest friend sent me a card in reply to mine after xmas, saying how devastated she was about mam and that she had wished sheād seen her last time she was visiting up north. I think mam knew how poorly she was and didnāt tell us and wasnāt able to do the rounds and see her friends like she normally did. But it was nice to hear from her and to know how loved mam is. She did say it gets easier as the years roll on. I suppose we learn to live along side grief. I didnāt know I had her address because mam usually gave it to me over the phone when I was doing my xmas cards. So pleased I contacted her. Havenāt heard from my auntie yet. xxx
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Hi Christine
Lovely to see you post. I thought it would be something like computer problems why you hadnt been around for a while. Always lovely to see your pics too.
Looking forward to the cinema and Jersey Boys on Thursday so will hopefully post some pics!
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Lovely to hear from you Christine, Iāll catch up tomorrow
Debbie x
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Christine
What can I say.You are truly amazing.God bless you and your wonderful flair for writing.Thank you for being such an inspiration and for your dedication to this site and to us all who need you so much.Your replies both individually and to everyone in the group are an absolute tonic and how you reach out to us when we really need help is beyond me.I just hope you know how much you are appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me.xxx
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Hello
I loss my soulmate to covid two years ago, Iām devastated and am trying to do things, whuchbis do painful without him by my side.
Iāve been reading comments on here for a few weeks now and I totally agree with @seychelles, that @christine51 is such an inspiration, you show kindness to everyone grieving and so do all of you on this post.
Christine, your passion for your garden and your Mumās shrine is heartwarming and your lovely photoās you post on here and how you watch the birds, feed the foxes and the hedgehogs, its not long now until we can get back in our gardens, but Iām like @Tina19, lost a lot of plants and canāt afford to replace them.
@christine51 Iām so glad you keep up with your swimming. I enjoy aqua aerobics and walking my dog.
Sending hugs
Amy x
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Hello Amylost.
I donāt always notice every post so if this is your first post I would just like to welcome you and say sorry for your loss. Although I lost my Mum 11 months ago I, like Debbie, have also lost my Husband but 6 years ago. I found the 2nd year to be particularly difficult, despite many thinking it should be getting ābetterā.
We may not have the answers, but we are all here for support and a little natter so please keep dropping by for as long as you like to.
Love and best wishes.
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Hi Christine
Nice to see you back. I hadnāt remembered about you saying it was your Mumās birthday. As ever, I love your photos, so atmospheric and the little white house is so exquisite.
Yeah I think you are right about the link between my fingers and the rug. I think itās the repetition of the movements as Iāve been using tweezers and itās very much a pinching and gripping movement. I was also in incredible pain for two days with my side and shoulder but I recognise the symptoms since Iāve started the rug again and think the standing and leaning over the canvas whilst I work is probably responsible. Iām a right old crock-pot!
Nice to hear thereās a bit of open communication now with your Sister. I wouldnāt take your Nieceās absence as personal. Sheās a teenager with a boyfriend and lots of interests and sheāll have tunnel vision probably as her age!
I picked two more Diamond Art Kits from Amazon last week. Iām not going to open them till Iāve finished the rug a Iām not the worldās best at completing projects once Iāve started them!
Hope Porcha is ok in the cold. I canāt see her hanging around in any cold spots though as cats know how to look after themselves donāt they!
Will drop in later.
Much love xx
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Hi Neil
Is it this week the Jersey Boyās? The audience usually end up dancing in the aisles I hope youāll have your comfortable shoes at the ready!
Much love xx
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Hi Amy ,
Welcome, as Tina said my husband died in March 2021, just coming up to two years now. I often wonder how I would have managed if I hadnāt found this group of lovely people. Christine is what drew me here too, her lovely shrine and gardening and craft skills.
Sending love Debbie x
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Hi Amy,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It was kindness from everyone here that got me through losing my mam. Nothing can prepare us for the hole that is left behind. We just canāt imagine such sorrow until we have to endure it. And āgetting betterā is certainly something that eludes us. Grief is there even when I am being busy in the garden. It has been my focus, like the shrine, to create in memory of my mam. It gets me through the day and it is always a relief when evening comes and I can put another day behind me. Little comforts, like watching the birds, are like collecting jewels on this journey. I always smile when I see my little robin because I imagine it is mam saying hello to me when I get up and start my day. Whatever you can do to fill you with a little lightness is worthwhile. Just being in your garden with a cuppa, listening to nature and enjoying a bit if sunshine will lift you a little. We all have our coping strategies - Tina and Becki have their crafts, Neil has his theatre and cinema, Suzanne has her wildlife adventures at the Loch and Debbie is an inspiration of love and family. We love to see each others pics when we are bobbing along doing well. And we are all there for each other when we need comforting and love to get us through the darkest days. Iād love to see your garden. Just having a bit of a tidy is quite thrilling when you see the work achieved. Being productive helps and I take comfort in daily routines. Without that I wouldnāt get out of bed. I look forward to you posting pics and sharing your days. But if not then just take comfort in reading what everyone is up to. I canāt always post when days are really bleak or when Iām so exhausted that all I can do is sleep until I recover. Being part of a community with real friendship makes the journey less desperate.
Iām so very sorry that you have lost your beloved. You have joined a hidden world that we knew existed before it touched us but didnāt know the extent of the pain carried. Mam left me in Nov 2021 and it still feels like itās just happened. Sometimes she feels far away and I forget, like sheās still on holiday. Other times itās so real itās like itās happening now and Iām reacting again for the first time. All we can do is āenjoyā (canāt think of another word) the reprieve, however small, when it comes along and be ready to endure the relentless emptiness and sorrow. Crying helps to get it out. Iāve even cried in public and that is not in my natural character at all. Iāve discovered a softness I canāt shrug off.
So welcome to our lovely group. Itās amazing how life throws us real loving friendships in the bleakest of times. Hope we lift you up and make you smile.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Tina
Yes Jersey Boys on Thursday evening so really looking forward to seeing the show at last!
Will hopefully post some pics on Friday
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Tina,
You do make me laugh! telling Neil to pop his comfy shoes on so he can dance in the isles when he sees his Jersey Boys. I would be mortified if I was there and everyone got up dancing, but mam would have loved it and joined in.
Iām intrigued as to why youāre standing up to do your rug? I find a cosy spot to sit down with lots of cushions or pillows at my back helps. And getting up to make a cuppa so my legs donāt get pins and needles. It is so easy to lose track of time. I have a pile of sewing waiting for me after this and Iām hoping Porsch will move over to let me sit with her next to the radiator (her new bed). And as long as the creep stays away I can open the nets and look out onto the garden while Iām busy. Still incredibly tired. I didnāt get up until now so Iāve lost most of the daylight hours but Iāll make the most of what is left.
You could keep you diamond kits for when the sun comes out and adds an extra sparkle when youāre busy, breaking up your day. Where will you hang your rug? Crochet and rug making was really popular in the sixties and seventies, adorning many walls as decorative art. Add a few plant crochet hangings and youāve created a natural ambience to the room. I remember my crochet owl I made at school, with huge wooden beads for eyes. Mam kept it for years but Iām not sure what she did with it. Even then the repetition of stitch was soothing. It must be really quite difficult with the tweezers nipping and pulling the wool through. But itās whatever works for us.
Would love a pic of your fabulous massive tree! I have things still in pots to plant up where the shed was and look at the posts and trellis everyday and am reminded of the work waiting for me when the Spring arrives. Just been reading about the arctic conditions arriving in Feb to cover us in snow again. Porsch wonāt be mooching out there after brekkie when it arrives. Will have to get a big shop in before then so Iām stocked up.
It was my sis up north who texted me, not the one who moved. Wish I could swap them round so I could go for walks and fiddle about charity shops on her days off. Havenāt heard from my niece and itās so upsetting because we were very close and did lots together. Just waiting for her to move back home again so we can start swimming (and with my little nephew) and going out on the bikes. If I could summon up the energy and willpower to get my bike in the car I could do the park which is local where we went for rides together. Itās the starting that I find hardest. My swimming is booked for after therapy Tues but my enthusiasm for it has taking a tumble. Will keep going just to get me out the house when my energy returns. Iām glad to just be back posting again. Feel so lost when I donāt.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Neil,
Will you be dusting off your dancing shoes for Thursday? Hope itās as fun and vibrant as Tina has heard it is. Will you be meeting anyone at the stage door? Seems to have stopped. Looking forward to the pics x
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine,
Computers are a real pain when they want up dating, there is always something that goes wrong. But glad to see you back.
As you said the worse has happened now with your sister moved, just have to plod on the best you can. As Tina said teenagers with boyfriends get very distracted, she will be back to text and swimming again.
So there was only one fish in the pond, or was that all they could catch. Fish are very good at hiding, especially as itās so cold at the moment. Iām sure Hilda 2 is feeling very at home in the tank.
Lovely photos as always, frost always looks beautiful on trees and bushes, on the plus side you can see the spider webs, you know how I love spiders. But itās not so good for walking, itās been a bit slippery on the paths walking to work. I keep saying to myself, January is nearly done and I wonāt have to work another one.
The shrine is looking lovely too. Iāve joined Tina in getting an diamond art picture, havenāt started it yet. I was putting an order into Hobbycraft and needed the order to be Ā£25 to get free delivery, so I thought why not. Itās a kitten in a winter scene
Iāll make you smile had to prove I was over eighteen to get my parcel left by the postman as I had ordered a paper trimmer. I think I might pass that one.
Iām doing lots of preparation for crafts at messy church, Feb being valentine Iām getting them to make love bugs.
In March Iām getting them to decorate , some lovely colour plant pots I found on Amazon then going to plant them up as presents for their mumās, probably put pansies in rather than a summer bulb.
In April Iām getting them to weave little baskets, add some shredded paper and put in mini eggs for them with an Easter chick.
Itās been alot of cutting out templates, and hole punching for the lacing heart I did for another helper. We are getting alot more childre now, fifteen last month.
Still havenāt started my Harry Potter jigsaw I got for my birthday yet, really must get going on it.
Have you heard from the hospital yet about going for tests for your iron levels.
Sorry I forgot it was your mumās birthday last week, the flowers are lovely, what an unusual card very pretty.
When you said your dad was hoping you were going to be a boy, it reminded me of my sister. My dad was convinced she was going to be a boy, when she was born he didnāt talk to mum at first, as if it was her fault. Ever since she was a baby my dad always called her Bill.
By the time I came along, he had just given up on ever getting a boy, until I had a son.
Speak again soon
Love Debbie xx
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