This weather is punishing & I too have had enough of it, it’s too hot. We had thunder & lightening with very dramatic clouds last night, but no rain. I really struggled sleeping last night. It must be awful for you with the pain of your knee. Hope it soon starts to feel a bit more comfortable for you. You are making progress though if you are managing with only one crutch.
You are lucky that your family are helping you. How lovely that you have had so many visitors and bringing you cards, flowers, choccies & fruit.
What a shame you are unable to see your granddaughter dance at Shaftesbury Theatre today, will someone video it for you so that you can watch it afterwards? You must be so proud of her.
Great news that you have sent your notice into work. That must be quite exciting as well as a bit daunting. A new chapter of your life to enjoy.
I am hoping the weather is not too cruel to us today at the races. Poor mum cancelled on us last night, her feet had swelled up with the heat & she could not get her shoes on. Hoping my new dress is cool. Love my charity shop bargains. Spoke to Bev last night & she is very, very tired. Will go & see her during the week if she is up to having visitors.
Hope you have a nice day today Debbie & take care.
Love from Alison xx
I have not written much lately because the depression got to me, and the heat did not help either. I am still in my bungalow but the loft has been cleared and the garage is almost empty now, mostly tools and some wood i want to use to build a house for my brother’s cat Tammy. - I have given my dining table and six chairs to my neighbour yesterday. She loves it. Next step is to transport my Hi-Fi to my brother’s house. It will take more than a day. Don’t ask, yes I am mad, I have 12 speakers in my living room (and several amps). My brother loved music and he did set up it all up for me. I have no idea where to put them all. I also have no idea what to do with the furniture in my living room. So, I will give it to the local St Helena Hospice charity shop. - My brother had several cars on his drive. Got rid of three of them last week. It rook all day, and it was so hot. I still have to get rid of one more car now but it will be a bit difficult, it has been too long standing on his drive, and, some suspension parts are missing which it makes it difficult to move. I hope I will get it all done by the end of this month, fingers crossed. - I am lucky, I have the sea only 120m from my brother’s house. How did you cope with the heat so far? Only three more days now, I hope. - It is good that you have help. I hope you can cope with the days when you are alone. I often talk to a friend on Jitsi (similar to Zoom) and it makes such a difference. - (I will miss my bungalow but my brother’s house is just next to a park.)
I just looked it up, you are getting cooler weather on Tuesday, only 18C. - Take care and thanks for the push.
Hi Alison
Oh my goodness this heat is definitely punishing, absolutely brutal. It makes me think back to last July when we had that spell that went on for a while. Makes you wonder how we managed then too.
Just waiting for 2 00pm as that is when it’s forecast to storm here. Was originally 1.15 ish so we could still be waiting at bedtime! Felt so unwell yesterday and maybe the only reason I feel so much better is that we know there is an end to it in sight. I used to wonder how fabulous it would be to live in a hot country all year round. I have a better idea now and “fabulous” isn’t how Id describe it!
Have a good day and I hope your friend has turned a bit of a corner in how she is feeling in herself.
I needed some essentials this morning from Asda so my brother said I’ll drop you as he was taking Zoe out. I then remembered it was Sunday and too early to be dropped off as they don’t open till 10 30am so he said we could walk through town and then collect the car at Asda car park and I could call in. So there was me thinking it was one walk through the town and back but in reality was a walk through town, through the park, through the woods and then the same back. It wasn’t so much the walk that tired me out but the fact I’m carrying more weight than I should be and it felt so uncomfortable.
Have you been/are going out today. Take it easy. The Sun has dropped since I came on the forum to post so maybe we will get the storms at 2pm as forecast. I’m getting a bit obsessed about it raining now I think!
If it stays clear a bit longer I may see if I can do a bit of something in the garden whilst Zoe is too tired from her walk to want to run amok all over the place.
Just thought I’d say good afternoon and sorry to hear of the spell of depression. What you achieved us commendable not to mention exhausting both physically and mentally so you have earned yourself quite a bit of downtime to relax with now.
As a singer and musician my Husband too had loads of speakers, music related gadgets, not to mention a new state of the art keyboard and new guitar. I find it so sad I can’t utilise them but I don’t have the tiniest grain of knowledge nor curiosity and I think it’s one of those things you can’t learn half heartedly.
I am sorry to hear you are still struggling with the move and everything else. You are slowly getting there with one only car left to move. Yes I would love to hear exactly where your going to put all those speakers. A difficult task combining two households into one. How lovely that your brother’s house is so close to the sea and you have a park too.
I’m really glad I’m not at work with the heat this week, I remember last July when we had record breaking temperatures it was hard going working. Walking home in the heat was the worse bit.
Haven’t done alot this week, kept the curtains shut in south facing windows and had couple of fans going 24/7. I’ve found nights the worst, living in a bungalow my bedroom is facing the front so not keen having my windows open wide.
We did have a very heavy rain shower earlier, only a couple of rumbles of thunder, but it hasn’t cleared the air, still very muggy.
Like you looking forward to cooler weather on Tuesday.
You take care and look after yourself
Love Debbie xx
Hi Tina
I hated the heat last year, this is just torture. We had a bit of rain this afternoon, nothing much & it has not cooled down at all. Have you had a storm yet? Funny enough years ago we planned on retiring abroad, so glad we didn’t do it - I could not stand it nowadays. Used to love the heat. Perhaps it is something to do with hormones?
Had a good day at the races. Our room is airconditioned, so lovely & cool. It was family day, so too many kids for my liking, not my favourite day of the season. There again in a couple of weeks. Not many meetings left now.
Bev is feeling a bit better today, tired, but seems much more like her normal self. I will go & see her later in the week.
Well I don’t know about anyone else but I have melted! No sign of let up here today either. Where are the storms I was promised!!
So am sat in front of the fan trying not to move and doing thing like sort my phone out, catch up on messages
@christine51 I have these photos from last month when I visited granddad. He has a tiny back garden but I think you will be impressed just how much veg and fruit he can fit in!
He’s coming down next Sunday and stopping til the 20th my birthday.
So glad to hear you got swimming the other day. I went on Wednesday like usual and can’t believe I am saying this but the water was too warm - I think I prefer it chillier!
They’ll stop doing the evening times in October so need to figure out an alternative time to go. My swim friends are morning people and keep saying things like 8am!! Oh heck!
The heat has taken it’s toll on me like so many of you and working in the heat has just been unbearable especially as the air con has been broken again and like last year they’ll fix it for December x
@christine51 you have been a busy wee thing lately and love all the photos x i don’t know know where you get your strength from but keep it up x your swims sound amazing but I won’t go to our local pool as it is minging!!
Been quite a boring week tbh as not done much to report apart from work and go up to the Loch. Had to tell people they couldn’t canoe on the Loch this weekend. There are signs everywhere but apparently they didn’t think it applied to them…sml lol x
@NEILB72 glad to hear you enjoyed Grease…was Jason Donovan any good on that role? Haven’t been to the Dominion since I saw War of the Worlds with David Essex in it…mum’s choice of course lol x. You are lucky to have so much choice on your doorstop x. Is your friend still phoning on a Wed? x I haven’t any shows as such booked until December when my friend wants to see Wicked in Edinburgh…wish all my friends would get on and could have all seen it together lol x
@Nick22 sorry to hear that you have been finding it difficult with the move etc. it’s no mean feat to try condense two peoples whole lives in to one so be proud of what you have achieved rather than dismay at yourself for what you haven’t accomplished yet…you will x
Hi to everyone else but just noticed the time so need to head to bed for work tomorrow so love to you all x
Hi Suzanne
Jason only has one song as well as with the whole cast singing a medley at the end. Thankfully we didnt have Peter Andre performing as well with the women waiting at the stage door!
I’ve got a great- looking play at the National to look forward to next on Sat 23rd.
My friend does indeed still phone on Wed and my friend and neighbour who had the cancer treatment earlier this year has recovered well and all clear on his last check up!
Hope you have a good week
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
Hi Alison,
Got back into the garden again yesterday so having to catch up again. Always lose my thread when I stop my posts but got a good bit of the patio grouted (should finish drying today) and more pots emptied. All my hosta’s, ferns and heukera died and I just can’t understand why. Will try adding grip to the compost and use for Autumn colour for the patio. Got another camoflauge net up so the creep can’t actually watch me now. My view from the window will be his view from up the garden so I know he cannot see. When I was up the ladder I noticed he has moved his swing bench from the top corner down to near the house. He would have been sitting up there watching me and now I have the fence / trellis tops and netting he can’t see. So a massive win for me! Will post pics later. Plan on doing another section of patio today and more pots. Cooling down now for the cement drying so up against the clock for the end of summer. We will be having frosts this week. That will be lovely! To feel cold again and get wrapped up in a duvet for bed.
I’m glad your friend is home. Have you rang her yet? She might be pleased for you to pop in while she’s feeling so fragile. I hope she has plenty of help on hand, not just with the physical stuff. Seeing a friendly face and having a chat if she wants to will be good for her well being mentally. There’s nothing worse than being at the mercy of chemo. I remember how painful my drains were and the relief at getting them removed. I took pics of everything that was happening to me the first time round so I could use it as inspiration for my work and poetry. I love your motivational card for the day. It is true that we don’t know what we can endure until it happens to us and we are forced to get on with it.
I love your dream of getting a racehorse in memory of your dad and hubbie. A fab thing to do. They would be over the moon with it. Do you actually do the lottery? My dad always dreamed about winning despite never buying a ticket, ever! He said he’d buy a mansion with grounds and I could live in the garden in my own little house. I love that, to be secluded from the world.
Just had a thought for your charity shop photos. You could select the best ones and keep a photo album of all those who have been discarded by their families, so that they are remembered and can be loved again, even if you don’t know them. Could be an ongoing tribute in the shop, to be displayed for the groups attending their activities. Sounds like a real hub for the community. Being remembered after we have passed keeps us alive. I still cannot work out why dad refused to have me even mention mams name. Another reason why I cannot see him. I can’t pretend she never existed, my own mam. Since Porsch has left I feel really fragile again and close to tears. Missing her in everyway. Just want my mam to come back. Want to go over for the day and sit and chat. Want to plan Autumnal bulbs and get winter flowers to share. Want to see her cooking pasties before we go to the fireworks display. Just want her back.
Is it today you are at the races in your pretty dress? Glad it’s a bit more bearable for you both. You really are doing so well getting out and doing nice things. I know the effort it takes to do anything. So give yourself a big gold star! And looking forward to pics x
Lots of love xxx
Hi Tina,
Just posted to Alison, trying to catch up again after being in the garden yesterday. Tried getting pics of my patio grouting but the sun is way too sunny so will try again later. Should get it dried today. Have ordered more. Fingers crossed that the high temperatures stay because we are due to start getting frosts and I need 12 hours for the cement to dry. I keep imagining the patio filled with pots of Autumnal planting to keep me going. Still have lots of pots to unpot and collect the dahlias to dry for next Spring. Hope they haven’t turned to mush like a lot of the bulbs. Delighted with my camouflage netting on the trellis tops. Creep can’t see into my windows now. Still have the curtain across where I sit though just incase.
Your jar of buttons reminds me of mam collecting things for me, especially ribbon. She was very thrifty. Like you said, that generation was. Things meant a lot. They were built to last. Mam made her own clothes. She was amazing and didn’t get the recognition she deserved. She taught me the things I needed for my textiles at such a young age (knitting and crochet at three). She set me on my path in life. Her love and praise in all I did made me the determined person I am. I wish I could thank her. I wish she could see what I’m doing in the garden. She’d be saying ‘you work so hard lass’! I’m in tears now. I’m missing her so much. Can’t bear that she isn’t here. Soz Tina, I will pop back again. I’m finding being alive without her really difficult again. Just want to be with my mam.
Hi Christine,
My hosta is dying back now, but mine is in a large pot & does grow back every year. It has not been as healthy this year for some reason. Sounds like you have achieved a lot in the garden with our camouflage net and a great win that the creep can no longer see into your garden. Frost?? Cannot see that here. Really cloudy here now, rain due at 3pm. We had a bit of rain during the day yesterday & some last night. Want quite a bit more, then I can get out & plant my bulbs. I am looking forward to the cold, but not the associated heating bills. Get my fleece blankets out - heaven.
No go in me at all this afternoon. Just feel washed out.
Races were yesterday, we had a great day. Our room at the racecourse is air-conditioned, lovely. Then tea at mine afterwards. Did not take any pics of the races, sorry.
I do the lottery and so does mum, just want to buy the racehorse; not bothered about a big house. Would get a new bathroom & kitchen fitted, jobs that need doing. Would also move mum into a house in my village, so I could keep more of an eye on her & she could get out more. She likes to be out and about, chatting to people. When dad was here, our plan on winning the lottery was to buy a big house with an annexe for mum & dad. Dreams hey - where would we be without them. Not much else to enjoy in life nowadays.
Spoke to Bev on Saturday. She is married with 2 daughters. She has one of her daughters & her sister visiting today, so planning on calling tomorrow to see her. She is very uncomfortable with the drain. One of the nurses was ringing her today, so hopefully they can sort her pain out.
That is a really good idea about the photos, will mention it to my boss tomorrow. We got the most beautiful antique veil in today, with the wedding photos enclosed with it. Obviously the family no longer wanted to keep it.
You will feel fragile & close to tears, it is not that long since you lost Porsch & it is bound to make you think about your mam. We none of us lose that wish to see our loved ones again & talk to them. I have those feelings every day, just want him back with me. It is too cruel for all of us who are left behind.
Got a photo of all my berries on my hawthorn.
Just been catching up on the posts and what you’ve written and been up to. No matter how low and tearful you get you always seem to find that little spark to get you in full flow again. I wish you could teleport some of that motivation across to me. I think teleport is the word I am looking for, but if not you’ll know what I mean. Don’t be feeling sorry for being “down”. Despite the time that has passed from losing Porsch it is still incredibly early days so dont be expecting a lot from yourself. I was reading about the camaflage in the garden, it must be so easy to work with as it’s so lightweight isn’t it yet gives great coverage.
It will be two weeks this Thursday that he had the endoscopy and biopsies done and the website for our area say 10 to 14 days for a result but his letter said 6weeks so who really knows but as you, and others know only to well the waiting in Limbo is horrific. He’d have had Mum to talk things over with in normal times but he has only me. Hardly the same.
With it being cooler I managed to redo all the weeding on the front. It had only been a week ago before the hot spell that I did it! I am looking for a tool that I can bend down to coax the weeds out. Don’t want to be getting on my knees as I’d be scared I couldn’t get up again! It doesn’t bother me in the back but it might be a touch embarrassing at the front of the house!
I don’t really know a lot, and I haven’t been out today so no bargains either. Probably a good thing in a way!!
Glad to see Bev is setting back into being at home. Hopefully she’ll get her bearings pretty soon and you’ll be able to have a good chat to buck her up a bit.
It is so much cooler now and raining. However given how humid and grey it has been there has been no thunderstorms at all. Sadly the rain has brought a damaged gutter with it and in order for the guy to be able to put the ladder up to fix it I have had to empty the log store and drag the wooden storage container to the other side of the garden. I’m only short and the storage is the same size as a child’s Summerhouse but solid wood frame so I’ve probably done myself a mischief!
Pleased you had a good day out Alison. Hope you can get a few more outings before the end of the summer season properly ends.
Spoke to her last night & she seems quite bright. She had spoken to the nurses & they have upped her pain medication, so no longer in pain; which is good. Going to see her this afternoon.
I think my rain dance has worked here, got up to a lovely cool morning with rain. Sorry to hear you have a damaged gutter, hope you managed to get it fixed. Are you planning on dragging the log store back after the gutter is fixed? If you are can you not get the guy fixing the gutter to drag it back for you? Hope you haven’t injured yourself. It is hard work doing these jobs that our hubby’s would normally have done for us isn’t it?
Going to have to dig a pair of shoes out to wear today. Not worn anything for sandals for weeks now. I will probably end up with blisters. Think I will also need a jacket.
I have bought a rattan sofa, table & 2 chairs off a friend of mums and was planning on picking some of it up today. But it will be wet through so might have to leave it until tomorrow when it is not forecast to rain.
We are planning to go and visit a local National Trust property on Sunday afternoon, which should be a nice outing. We enjoy looking round stately homes, not done many this year though.
Hope you get your guttering sorted. Have a good day.
Hi Debbie,
Sounds like you are recovering well and getting all the attention you deserve! You’ll feel so pampered it will be hard to get back to a normal routine again. Pleased you are recovering well, even if it is difficult to sleep. Are you taking meds for the pain? I wouldn’t try to do too much too soon. Time is a great healer and letting your bod recover is what you must do. You are so loved Debbie. Your children are doing what is needed, as you would do for them. Reminds me of the times I would water the old garden, check on the post etc when my parents went on hols. Mam getting her op is such a blur now. I really can’t remember anything about it. But I’m sure I was there.
You must have been ploughing through your books and puzzles. What about a jigsaw puzzle? Apart from getting the acknowledgement about your retirement (makes it real now) has anyone from work been in touch? Going back must feel like a long way off. I hope you have been managing in this unbearable heat. As you have seen I got back in the garden again, have grouted a large chunk of patio (still need to get picks), added camouflage netting to the trellis tops - very effective), started reseeding in the lawn and have another seed box so I can finish the job, unpotted compost and collected bulbs to dry, unpotted compost of dead things and will try adding grit for better drainage for potted Autumnals around the patio. Have decided to skip my parents old BBQ as I know I won’t use it. I never have visitors and so it will just sit there. I’m upset getting rid of it because it reminds me of all the happy family occasions we had at the old house when mam wasn’t ill and still enjoying life. I asked my friend if he wanted it, or had a mate who could use it, but he doesn’t. So I will be brave and let it go. The upside to that is more space and it will look pretty having lots of potted colour on the patio. Will your children help you get your Autumnal pots planted? Could be a lovely thing to do together to mark your recovery and take you into retirement.
I still haven’t gone to the Memorial Garden yet. Just need to pick a day when my niece can join me. A token ash of the general cremation will be added to the garden Dec / Jan but I don’t need to be in the garden when I visit. I have the same cat angel statue for her that I have at home in the shrine. I asked about creating a shrine there for her but might have to make do with just adding a rainbow ribbon braid to her statue. Have decided on adding rainbow ‘bands’ to the legs of the pergola, like armbands, throughout the space. It will unite the rainbow fairy lights overhead which were the last xmas pressie mam bought me. When I get my xmas tree I’ll add lights to it too. Tina said something in her card for Porsch about how she would want me to be bathed in light and colour. And I love that idea so was inspired to celebrate Porsch in that way too. Nothing nicer than twinkling lights throughout the year.
Even though I’ve got back out into the garden and made a good start again (in the heat!) I had a massive panic attack and have stopped. Very upset again about Porsch and Mam. I know I’ll recover but I’m so tearful again I can’t go out there. But I have my therapy today, a trip to the skip afterwards (for my friend) and then a swim with my niece. It really is like I’m going through the motions of doing without being present, like hiding inside of myself. It’s already planned so I just have to do it. Missing Porsch and Mam as if they have just died.
You’ll be pleased that we are forecast rain and thunder today. Already cooler. My garden is desperate for rain as I haven’t been out with the hose all summer. So intent on getting the trellises finished they took over everything else. And then Porsch died. So no sense of achievement at all. Just sadness.
I wish I could visit mam at a church yard. Dad still has her ashes. It was mam’s wish to be added to her parents grave up north. I seem to be the only one wondering why it hasn’t happened, not that I hear from anyone apart from my niece when she wants to go swimming.
There was a thing on ballet last night and I thought of you with your grand daughter. I know you are sad about not getting to watch her. But she’ll dance again when your knee is better. Could your family not phone you while she is performing so you can be there too as she is dancing? She’ll be sad too that you aren’t able to go. She’ll have lots of xmas things coming up. Mam always loved the run up to xmas, taking the children to the local theatre and I’d go ice skating with them at the garden centre (Van Hague’s). That is why xmas is so painful without her. We did so much together, as a family. Don’t know why I’m thinking of xmas when it’s still so hot. Always seemed such a long way off a t this time of year.
Must dash to get ready for therapy. I’m still catching up on posts. Getting upset always stops me posting. But I’m so pleased you are on the mend. Wanting to try to get out means you really are recovering.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Tina,
I think my last post to you ended abruptly because I got so upset about mam. Soz. Just trying to catch up with everyone now. The flowers you chose were lovely. Yellow roses always reminds me of mam because she had them in the front garden next to the gate and I she let me play with the yellow rose china tea set when I was little. The trim on your carnations adds a touch of fun.
I think going back to see your mam on your own will allow you time with her and to gather private thoughts. It will be just you and her. Your bro is a bundle of fury! Can’t imagine he will ever change. So I think allowing yourself alone time at the church yard will be good for you to express your deepest feelings. It will become a place where can cry and grieve in peace. And imagine all those steps for your watch!
You always make me laugh with your posts, whatever I’m feeling. Been really upset again and had a panic in the garden when I was attaching the camouflage panel. Didn’t know the creep had arrived back. I felt like I was being watched and then realised why. Noticed he has moved the swing chair from the top of the garden to the house. Another thing he has done in response to the fence / trellis going up. He obviously can’t see me / watch me now so isn’t sitting at the top of the garden looking down onto me from an angle. My therapist always tries to justify his actions as being normal / coincidence. But there are too many things he has done in response to what I do. He’s really quietened down too since I’ve been blasting my music. Less pally with his mate / woman with the dogs since they can’t both watch me and see the effect they are having on my panic attacks. I did hear a comment about how he has been watching me and that I was telling the truth since putting up the netting. Think my panic in the garden is because I am so exhausted.
See you later hun xxx
Hi Nick,
So pleased to see you again! Sounds like you’ve made great headway into getting things sorted. I assumed you’d be busy in your bro’s house, working to a deadline. Great that you have more time.
Have you considered selling your hifi equipment and using your bro’s as his is already set up and he will have made a good job of it if he’s an avid music fan? Would save you a huge amount of time and fiddling about trying to set it all up again yourself. You could sell the remaining car for scrap. Try the internet for your area and give them a ring saying it doesn’t run. Someone will collect it and you’ll get the scrap value. But shop around. I’ve always found Redcorn to be the best.
It will have taken a tremendous toll on you getting through all of this sorting and the actual move. I imagine it will be very hard saying goodbye to your own bungalow but what an adventure to have the sea so close to you. You can take a daily stroll down the beach and look for treasure to hang up in your windows. I’ve always loved the seaside. We used to go every weekend and meet up with old Aunties in South Shields. Hot sandy cheese sandwiches and warm pop on tartan blankets with a stripy wooden wind breaker. Can’t imagine how mam carried everything with two small children (myself and sis up north who sometimes texts me back) and a pram (my younger sister who refuses to speak to me but I still don’t know why). Dad would pick us all up after work and we’d go to Grandma’s for tea or visiting the Aunties where there was always a full house and a yummy spread of home baked pies, tarts and treats.
I love that you are going to make a house for Tammy. She could invite the fox too. I still have the old rabbit hutch filled with hay from Spring. I’ll see if it’s fit for the winter but will also use the recycle bin I don’t use, turn it on it’s side and fill them both with fresh hay / straw and hope I get visitors.
You’re on the final push now so look back at all you have achieved so far to spur you on for the rest of it. I’m amazed at what you have achieved. Just clearing my loft when I had the rat situation was exhausting. It’s not just the physical exertion of sorting but the mental challenge of it, trying to remain in control, to keep going every day and see it through. You should be proud of yourself Nick!
Have to dash now for therapy. I’m taking some old tv’s and electricals top the skip for my friend / neighbour afterwards and then meeting my niece for a swim again in the outdoor pool. Will be fun i f it starts chucking it down with a bit of thunder and lightening thrown in! We all need it after the heat we’ve had. Keep going hun!
Lots of love xxx
Hi Tina,
I’m in a bit of rush to get ready for therapy but I’m obsessed too about getting the rain and thunderstorms. Hope it happens when I’m in the pool. Love a bit of drama.
Well done for walking that far! I couldn’t do it. Bet Zoe was pleased to get out. Are you still recording it all on your watch? Every bit of exercise will make a difference. I still haven’t set up the wi fit. Will do when it cools down. Want to start the jogging again. My friend has a treadmill and watches tv while he walks. It’s a good idea but I’m not paying over a hundred quid to just walk . jog in my house. Will make do with what I already have. The programme on there is good and something I can work towards daily. I’m very lazy and don’t enjoy exercise just for the sake of it. But I was laways very sporty when I was young and very competitive. Wafting about in the swimming pool isn’t doing much to tone up. Have you thought about getting a bike? Try Facebook Marketplace for a cheap one.
Really must dash.
Lots of love xxx
x
x
x
xx