CREATING A SHRINE FOR MY MAM

[Debbie57]

Hi @christine51

As this is a closed thread now, it’s just as easy to write to you here Christine.

What a shame your party on Friday evening didn’t go to plan because of the weather. But I’m glad you niece and nephew came even if your niece wasn’t very chatty. And it was very kind of you to send money for your sister’s birthday considering she does not talk to you, bless you for showing the hand of love towards her.
Wonder why the creep is not working and making your life difficult with his constant antics.
I see you are considering putting up your garden Christmas decorations, I started on Christmas. I’ve begun to get Christmas presents and got my cards out ready to start writing them. In two weeks they turn the Christmas lights on in Higham and the town has an event we call The Sparkle. The church I go to is open for tea, bacon rolls and pancakes as well as many stalls a tombola and games for the children. I’m doing a catch the fish game, a prize every time , I’ve donated the prizes for it.
Any left over will go to mother Christmas who collects for struggling families across the county for Christmas.
My knee is slowly getting better, not back to work until 20th November, I’ve seen my consultant last week who is pleased with it as am I. I go back in about twelve months to consider whether to do my other knee . The physio has also signed me off this week. When I was away on holiday, I walked nearly three miles one day, which I could never have achieved before my operation.
I also decided to give gardening a try, managed to get my front borders tidied, took it slowly. My son is going to give my lawn one more cut before the winter if it ever stops raining.

I haven’t planted any winter bedding this year, because of my knee, won’t hurt missing one year, but I have bought some more lights to brighten up the back garden. I tend to buy battery ones now I haven’t got Doug to deal with the electrics. I admire all your DIY skills.

Going to all meet up at my daughter’s soon to plan next year’s October half term holiday. Whitby or North Wales seem to be front runners at the moment.

It’s starting to get dark early, I can hear more fireworks being let off in the distance. The next town to us had their big display yesterday evening.

I’m going to get some tea soon, I’m watching Christmas movies on C5. I went back to messy church last Friday after missing two months. I made a poppy bug out of egg box for the children to do, covers both remembrance and creatures in god’s world.

I’ve just done the advertising poster for next month’s, doing all things Christmas, I’m making a hanging advent scene with the children, sometimes difficult to find a craft that easier enough for little ones and challenging enough for the older children, plus we never know how many are coming .

I’m off to put the kettle on.

Love and hugs
Debbie x

I’ve heard of attendance allowance @Nick22 , my husband used to get it, but it’s nice you have made other people aware of it.

Debbie x

[christine51]

Hi Alison,
No pics today I’m afraid. By the time I even got dressed it was lunch time but once out there I had a good tidy up of the patio, potted the rest of the pansies and bugle, cleaned the bird feeding area. Makes a terrible stinky gunk when it rains and sticks to everything so it’s a massive mucky job. But I got it done before the rain started. Good timing as it meant I could come in and not have to wash the whole patio down with the hose. Mixed some batches of seeds for the birds for when I go out there later to feed them / top everything up. It really is like having wild birds as pets. The time I spend on cleaning up after them.
Drone was whizzing around again overhead. The creep had gone out but I’m very aware that he could just be sitting in his van away from the house watching me with that thing. My therapist said you can control it up to a mile away! Hope it does come down in my garden so I can stamp all over it! But the creep is rather quiet otherwise. If he has lost his job the tools must have not been his own. Glad he’s not chopping everything back again.
Fireworks have been going off since before it got dark. Such a shame with the rain. My nephews school cancelled their display but they were meeting up with friends (I’m not invited but know everyone) today / tonight. I really do feel so left out because it’s obvious I am not included. Known them all since they were small children. So spiteful considering I’m on my own and can’t go out on my own (who would want to?) Can’t see any of the displays for the lights on my pergola.
Just waiting for my hot water. Have a food shop later so icecream to look forward to with tv. Hope your lunch with your mam was nice. I miss going out to do nice stuff. And just being part of a group / family.
Feeling a bit better having been ‘productive’ too, though I’d much rather have done your pruning than my cleaning. My friend always lets me pop my garden bags in his bin if I have too many because they are so heavy. Otherwise I’d have piles of them hanging around. Couldn’t possibly take them to the skip as I’d pass out with the fumes on the way there!
Going for a soak. Once I’m in it’s very hard getting out after doing the garden.
Lots of love xxx

[christine51]

Hi Nick,
Great to see you’ve popped in and posting the info is great to let everyone know. There are so many people don’t know what or if they are entitled to help. I know they have deadlines but that’s so unfair if people are too late. I don’t think there should be a cut off. Not all pensioners can use the internet and how else would they get the info? That’s really kind Nick. I hope lots of people see this and apply.
How are you getting on with the anti depressants? How are you generally? I’m struggling now with trying to keep motivated now that the weather has turned (will it ever stop raining?) and my garden jobs are nearly finished. Just a couple of things left to do - clear the gutters, empty water butts for winter, pot up my winter plants when they arrive. Still haven’t heard from the RSPCA about my cat fostering. That will perk me up, unless it is a case of neglect or cruelty. I can imagine getting really upset. Maybe’s they’ll ease me in gently.

Hope you have got more done for the house clearance with the move. Not long now. Hope your friend is still helping you. Very stressful. But you’ll get there eventually. Your bro will be looking down on you cheering you on, as we all are. Just a shame we can’t help you.
Any fireworks going off around you? It was one of our traditions. I would collect my sis and the kids after school, zoom over to my parents house where we would ram a few home made pasties down our necks (a mam special) before heading off to the nearby golf club for a massive bonfire and fireworks display. Mam would bring her chair to sit in. The kids would buy the light up whizzy things. I’d be chasing the kids through the crowds and always be told off for it. Then we’d head back with the crowds, have another bite to eat before heading home again. How I miss doing the things we took for granted. It was just what we did. Until mam couldn’t go anymore. Getting upset now remembering. My whole life is in the past. Soz, didn’t mean to get upset .
Lots of love xxx

[warriner21]

Hi Christine,
It has been lovely here today, no rain at all - a miracle.
Glad you managed to get into your garden & get some jobs done. My bird feeder is over the garden, so no cleaning up required.
Does the drone hover over your garden? It would be brilliant if it dropped down into your garden, then you could demolish it. Glad the creep is quiet - must make your life a bit easier. And the fact that he is not chopping everything back in the garden is a bonus for you.
Sorry to hear that your family didn’t invite you to their firework display. I keep nipping outside to try & see the fireworks but cannot see any, can hear them. Lit myself a sparkler - sad/lonely bonfire night for me.
We had a lovely lunch - roast lamb. Was back home within 2 hours, so only a short outing but better than nothing. Was nearly dark when I got home. Dustbin out, comfy clothes back on & now sat in front of TV & laptop.
Enjoy your bath & ice cream later. Will be some cheese & biscuits for me, do not have a sweet tooth at all.
Glad you feel a bit better after been productive. I do too. I felt really down yesterday, but felt much better for doing loads of jobs today.
Picture attached of one of my daffodils poking through in a pot. And some of my patio pots.

Have a good evening. Lots of love, Alison xx

[Nick22]

Hi christine51,

thanks for your reply. I did not know how many CDs I had, about 500, found some more today. I am trying to take as many items I can to my brother’s house. My brother did set up all my Hi-Fi and I have no idea what he did. I think he was a bit Hi-Fi mad. Well, he installed 12 speakers in my living room. It is not easy to take it all apart because it was his work and does not feel right somehow. It feels so final. Well, there is nothing I can do but unplug all of it, the 22/11/2023 is getting closer now. One of the dog walkers offered to help transporting some of the smaller items. - Did I read correctly, you will get a cat to look after? My cat Tammy is a bit off her food since yesterday. She had cooked chicken from Tesco for several weeks and I still have 4 more packets left. Well, perhaps I will eat some of the chicken. (No, it is not cat food.) She is behaving strangely lately, I think she is still missing my brother. She wants attention all the time now and I cuddle her as much I can. (She knows that my brother has died.)

I am glad the day is over now. It was not one of the best.

Take care xxx. - Nick

[Tina19]

Hello Alison.

I’ve not been writing on the forum for a few days as I’ve been feeling quite troubled of late. Random memories and thoughts resurfacing, I’m sure it’s something you’ll be familiar with too.

Can see in one of your messages to Christine that you have felt down yourself as well but you had felt a bit lighter and had a productive day. Often it’s the getting started that’s the hardest isn’t it. I’m glad you’ve felt better.

I enjoyed just reading up on your chatty posts. It’s taken a bit to catch up with everyone. It’s unbelievable that so much chit chat can have gone on in what you’d think is a day or two but in reality it’s been two of three. I can empathize with you waking up early. It’s always between 4 and 5am for me. I have to be getting up at just gone 6 like most of us here seem to do so there’s little point to sleep after that. I don’t take little sleeps in the afternoon as I feel so disoriented afterwards.

I love all your little pots of plants. I used to have loads of pots with little random things growing in them but can’t now with Zoe as she would eat them and poison herself.

Absolutely pouring down this morning. Could do with some mini wellies for Zoe so she can take them off at the door after walks!

Hope you get to do something nice today Alison

Much love xx

[warriner21]

Hi Tina

Lovely to hear from you & we really missed you. I totally understand what you are saying about the random thoughts & memories, they take you by surprise sometimes. I hope you are feeling a bit better now. My sadness on Saturday was watching the racing at Wetherby, my head was invaded by memories of my dad & Rich. Very vivid memories and then the sadness hit me like a sledgehammer. I have said it before, but still I just want my old life back - totally unrealistic I know.

I did have a much better day yesterday though, until last night when I realised I had lost a silver bracelet that I wear every day, Rich bought me it over 30 years ago. It is not worth a lot of money, but the sentiments behind it are irreplaceable. Totally devastated. Have retraced my steps but no sign of it anywhere.

Without the chit chat on here I sometimes think I would go totally mad. It somehow keeps me going. I always wake between 4 & 5am. Just now & then I have a sleep in the afternoon, I sleep so badly that it is a bit like re-charging the batteries for me.

My little pots of plants need a bit of tlc and some winter colour in them. My fuchsia cuttings are still alive, feeling quite chuffed about that.

It is not raining here today & don’t think there is any forecast. Hope it improves for you throughout the day. Does Zoe have a coat for this sort of weather?

Not much planned for today for me Tina. Charity shop this morning, might go & meet Alan for a drink this evening.

Have you any plans for today? Supermarket? Anyway whatever you do I hope you manage to have a nice day. Speak soon & take care.

Lots of love, Alison xx

[Tina19]

Hello Christine

Been catching up with yours and everyone’s posts. I’ve had a few days where I’ve been really troubled and depressed. And as you are only too well aware yourself it’s those days that rob you of any motivation or inclination isn’t it. A new week from today so hope it’s better.

Was thinking about you and the drone last night. When they first started being spoke about I thought they were just like remote controlled gadgets that people played about with like the remote controlled cars of old. Never knew they could record video! People seem obsessed with filming stuff these days don’t they. How flippin instrusive. It doesn’t sound like the Creeps drone if you saw him sat in his van, do you know who is using it?

Technology has been driving me round the twist again with my printer. It’s one of those where you pay per page and they send new cartridges when it registers online when the levels are low. It’s good in theory as I don’t print a lot but could I connect it the network, bit a chance. But then he did it in under 10minutes when I’d spent 3 hours over three nights! The thing with those printers is that they can’t be used with shop bought cartridges so once you aren’t enrolled in the smart-ink contract the printer is redundant.

Made a pig of myself yesterday. I was so depressed I ate a full Terry’s Chocolate Orange. I’d bought it as an add to Xmas gift. That was around 600 calories gone! I’ll have to pull back today. I cheated yesterday with the slow cooker and mixed a load of frozen vegetables and chopped tinned potatoes with a can of chilli con carne. It was actually quite nice with some garlic bread but ever so lazy.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the cats coming to stay. Hope it’s soon. You could always ring to find out how your application is progressing. It would be nice to have something in place by Xmas time wouldn’t it.

Hope you had a nice chat with your Sister in the North. Could you visit her? I’m sure I read your Niece was concerning you over something. I’m sure these smartphones are having a negative impact on people, young and old alike to be fair. Many tend to live life through their phone and treat “real life” as a secondary “add-on” life. I’m sure she’ll probably confide in you at some point but don’t take it personally if not.

I need to go to town today so hopefully it will stop raining. Hope your day goes well Christine.

Much love xx

[Tina19]

Hello Nick and Neil

I loved the photos Neil, so atmospheric. I envy your ability to take yourself off and go all over the place to these shows and venues. I would be having a panic attack at just the thought of all those people!

Nick. I can totally understand your thoughts about taking down the speaker systems that your Brother put up. I’d be the same completely. You’ve been through such a lot with all this moving and once the practicalities are over hopefully you’ll have the opportunity to gather your thoughts and take it easy on yourself. I’m sorry to hear Tammy hasn’t been 100per cent lately. Do you think she’s been scared of the fireworks? It seems to have been bonfire night for a whole week somehow. Plus she could be anxious generally after all that’s happened, especially as you mention she had been clingy.

I hope both you and her have a lighter day today. Those “down” days can feel so bleak.

Much love to you Neil and Nick.

[Tina19]

Hi Debbie

I love those little crafty things!

Plants are looking well. I have some of those "silver dust’ plants but struggle to stop them getting "leggy’.

Just got a few things left in the garden now that have colour but still able to pick a strawberry or two from the strawberry plant.

Much love xx

[Tina19]

Morning to Palou as well.

Hope you are managing.

Much love and best best wishes to you.

[NEILB72]

Hi Tina.
Sometimes I have to make myself go to these places but always feel better for it afterwards. Good for mental health and it has certainly saved me from possibly losing the plot on many occasions!
I read on one of your posts that you ate a whole chocolate orange. Nothing wrong with that now and again- I did the same a few months back. I see there is a mint one now so might try that next time !
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x

[Nick22]

Hi Tina19,

chocolate is a pick me up. I used eat Tiramisu all the time. I only stopped eating it because Coop did put up the price all the time. I will get some more chocolate again. I always forget some when I go shopping. - You do not have to eat it every day, but perhaps when you feel down.

Does chocolate improve your mood?

Take care. - Nick

[Tina19]

Hi Neil and Nick.

I’ve heard good things about the mint flavour one Neil. May buy one tomorrow.

Thanks for that article Nick, very interesting. There’s not much better than some soothing chocolate and a lovely cup of black (and yes, “sweet” tea. As of there’s not enough sugar in the chocolate!).

Take care both of you.
Much love xx

[Tina19]

Hi Christine and Alison. (May start calling you C&A for short!)

Hope you’ve both been ok today. Or as ok as possible. Didn’t get out as it barely stopped pouring down all day. We had a beautiful double rainbow, one directly above the other. Quite stunning.

Decided to do some baking but didn’t offer my Brother any. Didn’t want the indignity of his Laughing Hyena impression because they were absolutely awful. No amount of money is too much for a shop bought cake because a natural cook I am not. I’d not make one of those parents that do Mummy & Kiddy baking sessions either so very glad I’m not a Mummy!! Zero patience for that as well!

Hope you both sleep well. I’d like to avoid the 4am wake up but the mind is still buzzing so not sure if it will happen.

Much love to both of you xx

[warriner21]

Hi Tina

I had a reasonably ok day yesterday. There was no rain here according to the BBC weather forecast, so did a wash and hung it out before I went to the charity shop. Got half way to the shop and the heavens opened, you couldn’t make it up. Rained for most of the day after that.

Your description of your baking made me chuckle. What did you bake Tina? Hope you had a shop bought cake in reserve to make up for the disastrous baking session. I used to bake cakes for Rich, but as I forget to eat them there is not much point nowadays. Still got part of a Christmas cake left from last year, even after giving away 3/4 of it. I don’t have a sweet tooth, more of a savoury person.

Slept ok last night until 5am as usual. Hope you had a good nights sleep.

I hope that you have a decent day today Tina, not sure what the weather forecast has in store for us today. Getting to the stage where I cannot be bothered to look at it as it is always wrong. Not much on the cards for me today. Just charity shop then back home for the afternoon/evening.

Lots of love, Alison xx

[warriner21]

Hi Christine,
Hope you are ok and not too down. Missing your chatty posts. Guessing you are busy and getting lots of jobs done in your garden, or maybe working on your textiles. I have not been in the garden much since Sunday. I lost a silver bracelet on Sunday that I have had it over 30 years, totally gutted. Anyway keep looking in the garden for it, but no luck so far. Today I was looking again & found a hellebore flowering, earliest I have ever seen. Attached photo.

Not up to much here, apart from selling - busy time of year for me.
Made soup yesterday - gorgeous. At home this evening with a ready meal.
Anyway just a quick check in with you and hope you are ok.
Take care & lots of love, Alison xx

[Palou]

Dear Tina,

Many thanks for your kind message.

Am really trying to plod along from day to day - am missing my mother so so much…

Hope you are managing too… Meant to post a few days ago now as was pleased to learn about your brother’s test results and that his conditions are treatable. That must have been a relief for both of you. Has he had a chance to talk things through with his gp?

Hope the lovely Zoe is ok too.

Love and hugs and greetings to all xx

[Tina19]

Hello Palou

Thanks for your lovely message and nice to hear from you. Plodding along sums it up really doesn’t it. I’m sure if I had all sources of distraction taken from me and forced to sit with my own thoughts I’d just simply be unable to function. Maybe distraction has turned into denial on some level for me.
Thanks for the kind words regarding my Brother. He’s not had a GP explain the results as yet. It’s so very, very difficult to see a “regular” GP at the surgery as most of them are temps and the ones that are regular are now “partners” so don’t seem to work as often as they used to.
I hope you are adjusting to this Autumn season, it always seems hard doesn’t it as the seasons change.
I can’t remember Palou if you had ever said you had pets. Zoe is ok thanks. Mot so “lovely” at the moment as I think she’s found her teenage rebellious streak!

Keep going as best you can and lets hope tomorrow doesn’t give us many obstacles to battle through.

Much love xx

[Tina19]

Hi Alison.

I’m disappointed for you that the bracelet has not yet turned up. Did you manage to narrow it down to having lost it on your own property or in a public space. Could you have taken it off somewhere for safe keeping and then forgot where your safe place is. I know everyone isn’t a scattycat like me though and would do something that ridiculous but you never know, it may also just turn up when you aren’t looking for it. I so hope it does. Ive lost count of the many, many times I have had to go through the wheelie bin the night before collection “just in case”!
I was only trying to bake scones, and would you believe from a children’s recipe book Mum bought me a child. I think my eye sight let me down with the scales and the ingredients were out of synch. Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Been two days of mainly wet and cold weather weather so have been “grounded” really with not being able to drive so haven’t ventured out.
Sleep is still elusive really but its not so bad waking at 3.30am as I did today as there’s still enough time to fall back to sleep!
Hope you have a good day tomorrow, without stress and undue problems.
Much love xx