Is there anyone with personal experience of Cruse that can tell me what to expect please. I am on their books for in-person counselling but I have read it can have a negative effect on some people. Many thanks.
i go to Cruse the councellors all have different methods my councellor told me .I enjoy it but being billy no mates its good that someone has time for me
Thanks for your reply. I guess you have lots of ‘aquaintances’ rather than mates. You don’t really need any when you did everything with your partner - that’s how I felt anyway. The recent days are so, so much worse at the minute. I think I am realising that as well as losing a husband/wife you also lose yourself as you knew you as well. This is too hard, sorry for the moan and I hope you have as peaceful a day as possible. Regards
dont be sorry Tina moan as much as you want i dont mind at all .I think you loose yourself because basically (and its not straight forward ) we are all in nightmares that cant be solved to our liking .Dont be afraid to come here im not we all have something in commom.Have a nice day if you can and my advice is try have some me time i do everyday if only for 5 minutes .Massive hug Colin
Thanks for your reply - take care.
Hello Tina
I worked as a bereavement volunteer with Cruse for over 10 years and although I cannot answer for all clients’ experience, I can tell you a little about what to expect. Once you have been assigned a counsellor, you will see him or her either at home or a neutral space for one hour per week. The role of the Cruse volunteer is to provide a listening ear for you to talk about your bereavement and to provide reassurance that your feelings about the bereavement are normal; although it is often the case that other issues emerge in the course of the sessions. I think that it is generally a very useful experience; however, for some people going over the bereavement and events surrounding it can be very painful and for that reason, some do discontinue the process. This can mean that there is unfinished business, insofar as it is possible that there is a lack of resolution of some issues, which might make the client feel that it has been a negative experience. I would suggest that you see how you get on with your first session. You will get a pretty good idea if the Cruse volunteer is someone you can work with in that first session.
I wish you the very best of luck
1 Like
Thank you very much for your insighful and valued comments. A volunteer rang me yesterday and I had my first session today. I did feel some aspects made me feel even more distressed and threw up more questions that I can’t ever have full answers to. So time will indeed tell. Once again, many thanks for your comments.
Hello Tina
I am glad that you made it to your first session - it can be quite daunting, I know. It can be very distressing as you re-run the events in your own mind and verbalise them. I am sure that there are lots of unanswered questions and others that you will not want to address. Never feel that you can’t say that you don’t want to go there. Your time with your Cruse Volunteer is your time. Best of luck
1 Like
Thank you for your response. I have just read your initial post and can see you are in a lot of distress yourself following your own very sad loss. It’s a bit like losing two people in a way, the one that was loved and yourself if that makes sense. Take care.
Hello Tina
You are right, it has been so sad and quite a challenge. As you have rightly said, losing one’s husband is so huge, but so is losing one’s identity as a wife within the dynamics of the family. I don’t think that my sons quite understand this - how would I expect them to do so, as they do not have that experience. So many thoughts going through my head at the moment. I stopped working when my husband became very ill in the Summer of 2015, so that has changed my life too. To say the least, I feel as though I am at sea.
Best wishes
Take care Suzie and hope you have a peaceful evening. I’m off to shed some more invisible tears now after noticing Christmas street lights and some forgotten about photos of my Husband and update emails between the family about his condition whilst he was in hospital. Sometimes it just seems uncopeable with doesn’t it. Kind regards
Tina
Ive just finished my 6 sessions with Cruse, my counsellor was very good listener, Indidntnreally know what to expect but Infeelnafter these last 6 weeks I can talk to anyone now about June’s passing without getting emotional. Hand on my heart I can’t say if the counselling has helped or almost 13 weeks since June passed away I’m getting better at grieving my loss.
Hope this has helped and I would suggest you give it a go first to make up your own mind.
Dave
Thanks for your comments. I suppose a lot depends on the counsellor, how you relate with them and your own circumstances but I have only just had my first session so it’s early days. Kind regards and thanks again for the comments to.