it’s gonna come up to 4 months now since my Dad passed away…
it’s been an uphill climb but the view and the journey have been amazing
i have relied heavily on the compassion and support of my lovely boyfriend, my good friends, my sister and cousins who have also lost their parents, i feed on “motivational quotes” on facebook, i kept on with my mindfulness practices, consoled myself as though i’m talking to a friend in need, i’m focussing on developing my self worth by looking after myself better and i’m still going out enjoying life building memories. my neck and shoulders are still stiff (it’s been 10 months now - it’s started to get worse and have been constant since my Dad fell ill back in June last year) but the feedback i get is “you are doing all the right things, jude…but just give it time. you’ve been through a lot, you can’t expect to heal very quickly, but you’re on the right track”
i don’t cry everyday now…i am not sad everyday now
certain things still trigger memories of my Dad and I would cry but I would feel joy and pride when talking about him.
i find solace knowing that he is no longer suffering and that he will always be with me, he IS part of me and I am seeing,breathing,eating,drinking and experiencing things with part of him that made my eyes, my ears, my hands and the rest of it.
i wear his ring with pride and i know that each day he wants me to be okay, and i’ll do my damnest to make sure i’m okay so he can rest in peace. and i’ll strive to be good at what i do and kind to those around me so he’ll be proud of me.
the sun’s out today and i can see him smiling…