My father died a year ago this month, in a couple of weeks to be more precise, and I have been hit with a fresh wave of grief.
I’ve read a few posts about anniversaries and I understand this to be fairly normal.
I didn’t process the grief for my dad properly at the time, I don’t think. My brother and I supported each other in processing his death and belongings (it was a complicated situation) and he was very emotional. As a result, I subconsciously suppressed my emotions in order to support him.
I am now looking at the next few weeks like I’m watching a car crash about to happen and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Like I want to scream and save him, but I’m trapped inside a manikin or something.
Had I know this time last year that I would only have a few weeks left of having my dad in my life there are so many things I would have done differently.
I wouldn’t have chastised him the night before he died. I would have rung him every day and been to stay. I would have stayed at his house instead of going to my mum’s that night.
I let him down in his last years. I didn’t ring enough. I didn’t visit enough. Our relationship was fractured. But I loved him, dearly, and I am so cross with myself for not being better.
I’m so sorry about your dad, @Proop. These kind of regrets are so painful, I think a lot of our members will understand how you’re feeling right now. You’re not alone. I’m giving your thread a bump - I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts.
That’s Seaneen. I’m not really looking for support as such, but more for an outlet for my grief and regret. I doubt anyone can say anything that will make me feel better about it, but I welcome anyone who may find it helpful for themselves to add to this thread.
My mum passed a year ago on the 27th of this month. I am also a car crash waiting to happen.
Unfortunately 4 years ago i lost my brother .
3 years ago i lost my dad.
Last August i lost my grandad.
I have no one left and have been in quite a narcissistic relationship the last 4 years that i have recently managed to start breaking away from .
But at the moment all i find myself doing is crying and although i know people know its a hard thing to go throu. Unless they have been through it its really hard to truly understand i havent learntgoing throu it myself now.
I am only 42 and feel it was still quite young age to lose everyone .
Anniversary are hard for sure the 1st ones of everyones have really hit me but after that a bit easier.
The worst thing is for myself when something happens and i go to message or call them and in that split second i had forgot for a moment then it hits you again the feeling is so awful.
I wish there were words to help you throu this time . I think the key word there is time. There is no time limit on grief and i dont think it ever hurts any less you just start managing better xx