My dad is dying. He has stage 4 colon cancer and has been given roughly a year to live, we are currently waiting on some test results to get a more accurate estimate.
I already miss him like he’s gone. He is suffering so much, on fentanyl and god knows what else, and he isn’t the bright, funny dad I know.
I’m 22. Not ready for this to happen.
He is 57. Not ready either.
How can I live more in the moment without feeling such huge anger and regret and guilt? Crying myself to sleep every night?
Sorry for what your going through i can feel your pain in your words. All i can offer is a small bit of advice dont waste a second spend as much time with your dad as you can . Tell him how much you love him and make the most of every second. When my dad was dying i tried to be with him all i could and i think he appreciated it. I miss him every day but knowing i was with him gives me some comfort. One thing i didnt do was cry in front of him as i know this would have broken his heart. Hope this helps a little bit . Sending hugs 
hi @Misprint , thank you for kind words. sorry for your loss. I have moved to France and I’m currently living with him. Feels extremely emotionally draining but worth it. I do think thats what has made all the anger and regret emotions feel even bigger too.
Hi @tq123. I am so sorry that you are going through such an awful time. Your feelings are all to be expected - how much can any of us take (lots of us probably feel like shouting this sometimes). Grief just encompasses so many emotions. If you can find the strength of mind, get everything that you can, out of the time that you have with your dad. He is still with you and as distressing as it must be, to see him in any pain and going through this, just cherish what you can and say all the things that you want to say in this time.
Us parents can handle so so much, as long as we know our children are ok. Sending you my thoughts and care 
x