Im an adult now late 40’s. I have 4 kids. One was born with life threatening illness she’s 26 right now & my other kids are okay. I spent lots of weekends at his mom’s(my granny) home when i was a lil girl. He Didn’t really see me like a father should and when he called to his mom’s home she’d tell me to ask him to bring me money over for me but i was afraid as a kid repeating that statement so he’d keep talking& granny would get upset that i didn’t do she’d take the phone and say it herself lol. They would keep talking but eventually hung up. Just kinda giving u guys a lil background on his n i relationship. Id even take the city bus at 10yrs old to go to his house for like 2 days then return home on the bus. That was only like 3 times id go to his house with where his girlfriend was staying as well. I started growing up now n im in middle school n just rarely hearing from dad. To me he should of been a Real Live Dad. No support in school watsoeverrrr not kindergarten nor preschool no supplies no clothes no food everrrrrr from him. Ok speed up to High school( No dad) but rarely staying in touch. I told him im graduating in june94 he said he’d be there june14th for it. Day came n nothing nothing nothing i called& asked hey u coming to my graduation he stated he has to work in the morgue, oh wowww dad i didn’t know u had a job because guys he never ever worked so i was shocked n i said oh okay then. So i called down to the morgue in Milwaukee to see does he really work. I asked if he was available to talk guy put me on hold n came back n told me they dont have anyone by that name i was in total shock n crying because why is he lying n not wanting to attend my 12th grade graduation. So i went on and graduated with no congratulations no im sorry i couldn’t make it no gifts no nothing i wish i could show u guys my photo with my mom my only parent standing their with this mad n sad look on my face holding up my diploma. That day i was suppose to feel honored of all my hard work in 4yrs. So i never heard from him even after all that. Still growing up now i have a sickly child at 21. I remember my 8th grade teacher Mr Timothy Howard telling his 8th grade graduates " don’t be having children to u finish college lol i loved that teacher he actually gave a fucc admit not only me but rest of my colleagues. Had my daughter right no calls from dad until me myself reaching outto him for exciting sad news of her having sickle cell anemia. Not NO SUPPORT WATSOEVER NOT APAMPERS MILK CLOTHING TEDDY BEAR NOTHINGGGGG DO U HEAR ME. Children’s hospital of Wisconsin was our 2nd home. Never a visit from him till she was 12/13 yrs old n brought a filthy what was white lil bunny n i wasn’t there that day but she called n said ma i can’t believe grandad brought me a really dirty suffed animal n the nurse took it and said he should’ve brang it here cause she could get sick, o was a a maddddddd bih i couldn’t belive it. After that never again we saw him visiting shes 26 almost 27. My dad now has diabetes n other health complications. Hes had to have toes amputated n now 2mos ago n now both legs amputated in May and now his 2 sisters are at his bedside for the 4/5mos hes been there. I live 45min away and only spoken on the phone with him during his stays. Now i don’t play tic for tac but its just not in me to be concerned i do feel some kinda way that he’s going thru this with out me but i also have a younger bro hes maybe 39 somewhere in there but hes there in same city as dad n he has great connections with dad. We do too, but very seldomly. My bday just passed on 29th again no happy bday. His sisters my(aunties) i know are talking mess behind my back saying things like" she should be here" or why she ain’t coming up here, smh. I don’t care for them anyway one usta tell me as a child " ain’t nobody gonna want me with all this weight" now as i 10yr old i don’t know wat to think i think i felt embarrassed, fuccn bish. How can u say that to a minor kid who knows nothing about men n having a boyfriend like wtf. So to sum all this up Nope I HAVE NOT BEEN THER FOR HIS ILLNESSES o n he needs a kidney from being a alcoholic during my childhood n adult hood life. So i don’t even contact him to say comforting things. I don’t think im wrong in all this. My neighbors attacked me n my children even the disabled one and NO ONE NOT EVEN DAD to have someone to come check on us just left us dry n alone n in fear of the men these females had with them. My mom her 2 sons n bro inlaw came n the inlaw i didn’t know him like that hes the only one came and spent 1wk with us at r apartment n he could see all these men n ppl that was bothering us. He was angry stating that why haven’t anyone came out here for support n said hed stay as long as i need him to stay n oh boyyyy he had em scared so scared that they make false police reports on this man n was even confronted by an officer and him n the officer stated being friends that moment and told him yeah Neighbor called and said there’s a black guy waving a gun around children but when they showed up ppl were barbecuing n kids were playing running laughing and playing as the cops walked up they could see my inlaw standing smoking a cigarette. They asked have you guys seen a black guy out here waving a gun around children because we just got a call from a neighbor stating that. We said no we’re all just out here it’s warm we’re outside talking and everybody’s just being Neighbors without drama. So the cops could see my in-law with the gun on his hip he’s a 30-year security guard with the open carry open concealed carry well just an open carry license he has and he wasn’t even asked by the cops to present his information the cop could just see that this guy is not waving a gun out here that’s what they looked like they appear to us that way. So the cop did start talking to my in-law and they were having a great conversation he was telling him about his career and how he got it and how many years he’s been on the security force and what his do’s and don’ts are and I mean they were like hit in hands and shaking hands together and it appeared to the cops that there were no bad things going on so they told the in-law to go on about his way and hope that he has a great rest of his day. So to say all of that I still didn’t have my dad nor his son to even come and check on me and my children. I stated that to my dad in an overwhelming voice and he just stated I’m so sorry I’m just so sorry and to hear that I’m just like you know you were never there anyways for me as a kid and you are not here again in my adult years so I’m just done with it and with him and the other family. Now one of the sisters has an older daughter I think she’s 50 something she’s in her late 50s she goes on Facebook and she screenshots my profile picture and she takes it home and she shows her mom who’s my aunt her mom makes a copy of my photo takes it to the hospital open the door to my dad’s room standing there holding up a picture that she printed out of me on social media and he asked who is that and she says it’s your daughter f o o l. And they all giggled and laughed and she hung it up on his wall so that he could see this picture of me. I report all of this back to my mom stating that they are being funny behind my back with bringing a picture a photo of me to hang in my dad’s hospital room meaning that this is the only time you going to see your daughter because you don’t she or she doesn’t visit you anyway her daughter did that in a malicious act way and I’m not buying it they’re all talking crap behind my back when they don’t even know how the hell I feel from him not being in my life as a kid and my adult life and not even being in his disabled daughter’s life unbelievable just unbelievable I’ve thrown my hands up and I’m done with this situation I’m so sorry guys that this is a story book thanks for listening thanks for reading I’ve never told anyone this story about from how my dad is being so I don’t think he should expect anything coming from me not even quote on quote how are you doing today I’m done.
Hello @Royia,
I’m so sorry to read about your situation. It sounds like you’ve been coping with a lot for a long time.
I just wanted to reach out to thank you for sharing so honestly and to let you know there is lots of other support out there. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. The following website might help you find support services closer to home: https://help.befrienders.org/
You deserve care and support, @Royia - keep on reaching out.
Take care,
Seaneen