Dad passed away, Mum dementia

My Dad had a stroke in July and at first we were able to go and visit once a week and even though he wasn’t the same man he could talk and communicate. He went to a temporary home after the hospital said they couldn’t help anymore, we couldn’t visit but he got a super bug and had to go back in hospital for blood transfusions, I was eventually allowed to see him in the hospital in October for a few minutes and it broke my heart. He went back out to a home where they looked after him in full PPE and we weren’t allowed to visit yet he caught coronavirus as went back into hospital at the end of December, he passed away on 31st January. It breaks my heart he was alone for all of this time. My Mum also has dementia which made it even harder between them. I truly do believe if we had been able to see him then he would have been here still. I think he just gave up. My Mum used to get really angry with me thinking that me Dad didn’t want to talk to her and I have found all of this so hard. Has anyone else experienced this over the last 7 months as I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you

I’m really sorry to hear about your Dad passing away @Ipatric, I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you not to be able to spend the time together that you were hoping to. With all the restrictions in place, it’s understandable to hear how it breaks your heart and how hard you’re finding this. I’m hearing how difficult it’s been supporting your mum through this too.

I was wondering if you have spoken to any other family or friends about how you’re feeling? Are you getting any additional support outside of the communtiy at the moment?

You’ve been really brave posting here to reach out for support, keep us updated with how you are feeling :yellow_heart:

Thank you. I do try abs share with my husband and I have had a session with dementia Uk which helped. The thing I find the hardest is I don’t have anyone to relate to that has been through the same thing. My mums twin passed away from dementia in November and I have had to tell her that her sister and husband have passed away. The guilt of thinking how lonely my dad must have been is horrible and I really struggle to sleep at night.

I hope I can give you some support my father died January 22nd Alzheimers it was tough he fell then went into a carehome luckily when he was dyig we could have room visits its tough more watching your loved ones get so confused and angry my mother has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers challenging benhaviour is normal such cruel diseases all you can do is smile behind your tears and love.

Thank you for sharing I really appreciate it. It is such a cruel illness and I struggle talking to my mum as she is not the person she used to be. I try and use the tips the Dementia counselling have provided but always worry about getting it wrong.
I am so glad I found this forum to share feelings and I am so glad you responded as talking to loved ones is too hard to do sometimes. I send you love and hope.