Dad passed from covid

My Dad had a stroke last July and had to go in a home. We weren’t allowed to see him due to covid but he caught it anyway and died in January from it. Has anyone else experienced this as it makes me so hateful. The last time I was able to see him was October.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad and I know you will be able to relate to a lot of people on here and vice versa as so many people have been through a similar experience. You’re in the right place. Sending love x

Thank you. I have found it so helpful reading everyone’s experiences on here and replying. It helps to express feelings and have somewhere to do it.

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I also saw my dad in October last year, before he got COVID in December and died 3 weeks later in hospital. We were told he would likely be in hospital a day or two as he was quite young and healthy. Feel so sad and angry. He never broke the rules during lockdown. I understand what you mean re hateful though my experience is different. I can appreciate how angry and sad you feel

Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss. The most anger I have is not being allowed to see him as it wasn’t safe for him however he caught it from a carer anyway. I am so appreciative of the job that they do and they don’t make the decisions but my dad saw us once in 5 months and although he was poorly I truly do believe he would still be here if he had been able to see anyone. It breaks my heart and is what plays over in my mind constantly.

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That makes sense and I feel for you. It’s just horrible isn’t it…so hard

My father tested positive for Covid on February 10th. On February 19th he was gone. He had been shielding for over a year and living with his brother and both of them caught covid and both passed within 3 weeks of each other. I too am really struggling with the loss. I was fortunate to be able to see him in hospital while he was on the ventilator but I don’t know if he knew I was there. I am so sorry that you were not able to visit your father. That probably would made a world of difference to you and brought you much comfort. I will say that seeing my father at the end while comforting was also extremely difficult as my last memory of him is now of him hooked up to a ventilator and sedated. This virus has taken so much from us. I understand your anger more than anything but I am desperately trying not to be.

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Thank you so much for replying, I have really found it hard to find anyone who is even slightly in the same position which has made me shut off from everyone. God I wish my Dad wax still here, the last thing I wanted is for him to become a covid statistic and even though he passed after 28 days of getting it they still put this as his primary cause of death. I would do anything for my Dad to be here now…

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I’ve shared very similar views to you. After my father died, I told my mom the same thing… “now he’s a statistic.” Anothers reminded me that he was so much more than that and that no matter what he’s still my father and I’m still his daughter. I find that difficult to comprehend right now because I keep wondering how I can be his daughter without him here. I’m so sorry about what happened to your father. This virus is horrible and it takes the most wonderful, amazing people from our lives.

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Thank you for replying and I am so sorry for you loss xx

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I am so sorry for yours too. Feel free to reach out anytime.

My dad passed away from covid 5 weeks ago. It’s all so surreal and not getting my head around it. Anger plays a big part in my feelings right now. Anger towards people claiming covid isn’t real, against anti-vacs people etc.

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I am so sorry for your loss. It’s horrible isn’t it? I tried not to feel angry when my dad first passed but find that that feelings are coming out now, about 6 weeks later. Every time I see someone not wearing a mask properly I want to shout at them. Chances are they don’t know what it’s like to lose someone to this virus. The reality is that our dad’s would still be here right now if it weren’t for covid.

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@lpatric I’m sorry for your loss. My mum died from Covid too, despite following all the rules and shielding for most of the year. In the end, she went for a coffee in a garden centre cafe when she was told she didn’t have to keep shielding. She caught it and died.

Before she died she said she wished she’d never gone to the garden centre and now I keep thinking, ‘how could something so inane cost you everything?’ I am so angry for her and everything that has been taken from her; I’m so sad that her last year alive was so shit and isolating and I wish that I had ignored the rules and gone to see her more last year, she only lived 15 minutes away.

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It does feel like that, a whole year- wasted memories we could have made. I know realistically, shielding prob kept them alive for longer, but it still rips my heart thinking of what covid took from us all.

I completely understand how both of you are feeling. My dad shielded too and didn’t even hug my brother or any family members for the past year. My brother did it to protect him and I understand that but now I wish that my dad could have hugged everyone if this was what it was going to come to. I got to hold his hand and stroke his head at the end of life visit but it’s just not enough.

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I am so glad you got to see your Dad. The hospital doctor told us to stay away and I now wish we hadn’t. For me is still doesn’t seem real and I don’t want to accept that my dad has gone, not sure if this is a normal feeling. I am still so angry that we couldn’t see him, yet he caught the virus anyway. I would do anything to hug him now.

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They should have let you in to see him especially for an end of life visit. You may be struggling to admit it’s real because you didn’t have the chance to see him and say goodbye. I’m from Canada and am wondering if the policies are different in the UK and Canada in terms of end of life visits. I will say though that even though you’re struggling with the reality that he’s gone, I hope that means that you’re remembering what he was like when he wasn’t ill because you don’t have those visuals. That may bring you more comfort down the line. I’ve been struggling as of late because I keep reliving that last week of his life, of seeing him on the ventilator and then I was on video when they turned off the life support. So while being with our loved ones at the end of life is a blessing in some ways, it also makes it hard to remember what they were like before that.

I completely understand, particularly the anger against people who don’t take it seriously. My dad took it seriously and he still caught it and died. It is so hard to take.

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