Dad passing away

I’m 26 and my dad passed away last night from a short illness with cancer. I feel as though noone I talk to understands the pain I feel. I feel angry at everyone around me for not saying the right things. I feel overwhelming guilt and regret with my dad for lots of reasons and I can’t cope with all the emotions together. If anyone has any advice I’d appreciate it. Thanks

Hi meg.el94. Welcome. I am so sorry to hear of your so recent loss. Without knowing more its difficult to offer help, but you have said enough to make me realise the pain of grief you are going through. This is the right place to be because we all understand. No platitudes here. People may attempt to ‘jolly you along’, but unless they have experienced this trauma they can never really know.
The feelings you have are all perfectly normal in grief. You are not going crazy, and anger and irritability inevitably follow loss. Do you feel guilt because of what you might have done? Hindsight is a hard taskmaster. We did what we did at the time because we thought it was right at the time. Everyone can look back and see sins of commission or omission. It’s easy to fall into that trap and hard to get out. Guilt can so often lead to despair, and that’s about the last thing you want.
It only happened a very short time ago so you may need to come on here and talk more, and please do so. We are all good listeners, and above all we understand. Take it one day at a time for a while.
Bless you, and sending kind thoughts and prayers to you. John.

Hi Meg.el94, I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. Losing a parent is heartbreaking and I believe something that is hard to understand unless you have lost someone close sadly. I lost my Mum to cancer in March. Cancer is such an awful disease and takes people long before their time. Anger is a completely normal part of grief, and is totally understandable. Is there something in particular you feel guilt and regret for, or is it a feeling you have in general? I think guilt is another part of grieving and it is something I have experienced myself. I have found the emotions of grief itself very hard to cope with at times, as many others have I’m sure, so it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling so overwhelmed with all the emotions. I can’t really advise further as things are still raw for me as well, but I would definitely say that talking to others that understand, even if just on here definitely helps. I left it a while before joining but I got to a point where I was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed by all my feelings so I decided to reach out. I have struggled to talk to those around me about how I’m feeling, but I have definitely found it helps to talk to others going through the same thing. Most other people my age still have their parents and I feel do not understand what it is like to lose one. Please continue to post if it helps you and take care of yourself x

Hi thank you for your reply… I have just been sat googling places I can talk because it got very overwhelming and I don’t feel like anyone I speak to understand. It just sort of feels like my family and partner are just going about their daily life as normal when it’s the worst day for me. I feel guilty because I didn’t have the best relationship with my dad and I used to say to myself all the time that I should try to work things out with him but I never did it. I never saw him poorly partly due to covid but partly because I didnt know if he wanted me thereand for this I feel guilty too. It’s a very complex and unique situation. Thanks again

Hi thanks for your reply its good to know I can come on here and talk. I’m sorry you are going through the same thing. I feel guilty for not sorting out issues with my dad so we could have had a better relationship whilst he was here and now he is gone and also for not visiting him whilst he was poorly. This was partly to do with covid and partly to do with how the relationship was. I just feel lost and with people not understanding and saying the right thing I felt like I was going to explode and I’m glad I ended up on this site. Thank you so much for the reply.


So sorry for your loss. I was also only 26 when I lost my pops last year. It is the worst thing I have ever been through in my life, I still feel the pain as if it happened yesterday every day.
There’s no advice or any words that will make you feel better. I can say to focus on the days hour at a time, looking into the future at this stage causes more agony.
I hope you have good support around you, that is paramount for your recovery.

I wish you all the best xo

I am sorry for your loss and it’s normal to feel all these emotions I was exactly the same when I lost my dad I had all these emotions - guilt, remorse, hatred, anger, crying all the time, wanting to be on my own, denial - Everyone goes through these emotions and it’s just a natural thing.

My dad passed away in January 2018 and I felt numb total disbelief and anger that he would leave me and my mum and sister, my son his other grandchildren how could he do this to us then I felt regret as I never done more for him and spent more time with him and then the guilt set in I was just so distraught. I was also trying to be strong, brave for my mum and my son and hide my emotions but it was hard. I lost my mum a year later and it was the opposite I had no emotions just shock couldn’t even cry was emotionless but I didn’t love her any less than my dad I was told it was because I was still grieving the loss of my dad and went into denial and shock when I lost my mum. I was lucky in a sense however as I had a lot of support from my in laws and my friends Who were amazing and listened to me and were there for me and my work colleagues too were immense. I focused on my work which was my coping mechanism and it did help. I still have quiet times when I lose it but not as much. I don’t believe you ever get over the loss of a parent but it does get easier through time I read a lot about the different stages of grief and joined this forum and for a while just read everyone’s comments and found that comforting here to listen and help support you any way i can xx

I’m so sorry to hear you have lost both parents. I hope you find the courage to stay strong. Its been nearly a week since my dad passed and I have the funeral on Tuesday and its making me feel panicky and sick it’s awful. Thank you for your message. I’m glad to have people to talk to during this time. X

Hi @Watt92
Thanks for your reply. Im so sorry to hear your lost your dad at the same as me. Did you feel anger as rho youve you’ve missed out on things? It’s my dad’s funeral on Tuesday and I feel sick and panicky thinking about it gives me a pain in my chest.


Definitely. People will tell you that’s a ‘normal’ thing - because we are so young, we have more life ahead of us for them and us to miss. It’s hard not to think about and is something I struggle with everyday.
I’m sorry, it really doesn’t get easier… it’s just the time that passes, never the feelings. I suppose I don’t cry every time I talk of him now, sometimes but not every time. I’ve started being able to smile at our memories instead of feeling the sheer pain. It was a year ago yesterday we said our final goodbyes and I suppose I have to admit feeling a little pride when sitting doing my makeup today, knowing that exactly this time 1 year ago, I didn’t even care about my appearance or anything. Little steps, don’t let anyone push you.

Here anytime you need to talk x