This is my first post so please bear with me. My dad died 2 weeks ago in tragic circumstances. My son found him unconscious he went to hospital and died 24 hours later from Covid. I have so many unanswered questions that I know will never be answered. I stopped talking to him a year ago. We had an amazing relationship until he lost his partner of 17 years and then I became his go to person to the extent that my own mh was suffering so I had to cut myself off. I was unable to see him or to say goodbye and know if I had been talking to him he would not have died and I am seriously struggling with this right now. I have overcome some life changing situations before but this takes it to a whole different level and I dont know what to do. I know the current lockdown situation is making it harder but that I also know I cant change. Thank you for reading.
I’m so sorry to hear that your dad died in such upsetting circumstances. It is sad to hear that your relationship had suffered after the loss of his partner and that you didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.
It is very common to struggle with guilt and regrets after a bereavement. Your loss is so recent and raw, and people on this site will often say that, at this stage, it helps to just take things day by day or even hour by hour. It’s also really important to find outlets for your emotions, rather than bottling them up, so I’m glad you’ve been able to write things down here. This online community is here for you even during lockdown.
As time goes on, if you feel that you might benefit from talking to a professional counsellor, Sue Ryder also offers an online counselling service: www.sueryder.org/counselling
Hello Jojo, my heart aches for you because as you say there are so many unanswered questions and that goes with most deaths, we all think of the what ifs but we can’t fix them. Only two weeks since it all happened and even when you are disconnected there are things that you will have to deal with. Take each day at a time in small steps or you will overburden yourself. Things at the present are for from normal and may never feel normal for sometime but unfortunately life goes on. Please take care of yourself and try to be kind to yourself. Remember tomorrow is another day and will not be the same as today. Try to smile occasionally, it helps. Blessings S
So sorry about your loss , my heart goes out to you .