My dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on the 8th January 2021, he had had a cold for a couple of weeks, on friday 8th jan he wasn’t feeling very well, so he said to my mum he was going back to bed, my mum went in to him a couple of hours later to see if he wanted a cup of tea, but mum couldn’t rouse him. He was only 73. Mum called me at work on her mobile, which she never does, so I immediately said whats wrong? To which mum replied “ can you come, dad has passed away”. I just screamed, threw my phone on the floor and slid down the wall at the back of my office. Luckily i wasn’t on my own, so a colleague spoke to my mum and then rang my hubby to come and get me. So my son dropped off my hubby to my work so he could drive me home. Myself and my hubby after he calmed me down at home. We then went to my parents home. Police were there to say that they had called the coroner’s office so that tgey could come and get my dad, i was shocked that dad was still at their home. It took several hours for them to come, also there was a mix up with staff, so it took longer then it should have. (Won’t go into detail) i was struggling at the beginning and i have been helping my mum with everything, the funeral, registering the death, which took two weeks before we could do this , as they had to find out what he died of. Which was basically heart failure, so although, very shocking for all whom are left behind, i know that he didn’t suffer. So 13 weeks on I seem to be getting upset more frequently. I think that is because, i have been helping to deal with all the financial things and dealing with utility companies as a couple of things are in dad’s sole name rather than joint. So i think because i’m taking his name off things, it seems like I’m deleting him, and my mum has started to go through his clothes etc and I’m struggling to deal with this. I’m trying just to think that they are only material things and he will always be in my memories and i can talk to him in my thoughts. Why am I struggling, is there a coping mechanism that i could use? As i’m not enjoying very much getting upset as i want to have all the good memories and thoughts.
I’m sorry you’ve lost your Dad so suddenly. It perfectly normal to find life a struggle after a loss. My best advice is to take in hour by hour and day by day.
I found going to bed an hour earlier helped in the first few months.
Hi Maria, I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden death of your Dad at such a young age, you are going through the natural process of grieving, it’s not easy, I know how you feel my Mum died at about the same age of a heart attack, what helped was the fact that I knew she hadn’t suffered, it was us that were left behind that suffered, I think the fact it was sudden means you didn’t have time to say the things that in hindsight you would have loved to have said, you just need to take a day at a time, and be kind to yourself, sending love Jude xx
I don’t have any advice for you, I am sorry. Just to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. Your post resonated with me and I wanted to send you a hug and to let you know that whilst I cannot offer advice, I share your feelings and sympathise so very much with what you have said x